Non-recognition

After the 34th birthday dinner!

So.  Sunday was the Regional finals for my HS/MS equestrian team.  There were a few people there that I haven't seen since I lost my weight, and I literally had to stop them and speak.  There was astonishment, disbelief, and many congratulations:)  Made me feel quite good of course!  3 of my 5 girls made it to the next phase, Zone Finals, and I will see some more people I haven't seen in a while:)  Round 2!

I of course got the inevitable question; HOW???  I finally responded simply:  Eat less, move more.  Simple.  I rocked out Week 1 again of Insanity, and today (Tuesday) I rocked out Week 2, Day 2.  My soreness is much better, just some residual right around the arm pit area.  I've always been relatively strong in the lower body, and weak in the upper, but I'm hoping to change that.  My shoulders are finally beginning to take shape, and show definition.  I need to try on some bathing suits before SB; not sure what type I should go for.  When I was fat, I went with the Tankini, with a little skirt bottom.  What should I go for now?  I'm a curvy size 8, no 6 pack yet.  One piece?  A tankini that actually fits?  Normal bikini?  I don't want to advertise "availability", but I also don't want to be gag-worthy;)

Just gotta push through!

Ooops!  Losing my britches!

I tell ya ... day 3 is KILLER for me!  My entire body just aches like a tooth.  My calves are so sore I can barely move; the muscles around my rib cage scream at every movement, and even my NECK muscles are feeling the burn.  Feels great;)  It's *only* day 3, and already I feel stronger and better than I did.  I've been putting my calorie info into Spark People again, to track things, and I'm right where I need to be.

Going to attempt to lose 15 more lbs before June.  We will be heading out to the west coast then, and to be under 140 ... wow.  I can't even really fathom it.  I'd like to be able to rock a nice bikini while walking along the Pacific Ocean:)  It's all about the dedication!  Got up at 5 am to fit in my workout today, and I hit it hard!  Tomorrow is recovery day, which is not a hardship to do at all.  Friday and Sat will suck, not gonna lie, but Sunday will be a day off.  Well, sort of.  Sunday is my IEA team's Region finals, and also my 34th birthday.  So, while I will have a day off the Insanity, I will still be working hard.  At least the temps are supposed to be low to mid 60's, which I LOVE:)  If you're trying to find motivation to start a lifestyle change, work out more, eat better, or just get off the couch PERIOD ... just DO it!  The only one stopping you is YOU, no more excuses!  I don't care if you're moving, on your period, got a hang nail, having a bad hair day, or working a little later than normal ... to quote Shaun T ... "YOU CAN FRICKIN' DO IT!"

Happy day to you all!

Seriously...once upon a time, these capris were so tight they squeezed out fat rolls.

Accountability!!

So, the purpose of this blog originally was not to moan and groan about how disgruntled I am with my life, it was to chronicle the journey of my weight loss and to STAY accountable!  Well, here it is!  We just booked plane tickets to Vegas for Spring Break.  I may actually put on a bathing suit:)  However, despite thinking I would be happy with my body occupying less space, I'm STILL not 100% satisfied with how things look with no clothes on;)  I've allowed myself to relax and not work out 6 days a week, AND I indulge my sweet tooth each day.

Love my red dress ... but it's a FAT dress!

What I have done to insure that I don't put the weight back on is to get rid of ALL my fat clothes!  I have purged my closet of all but 2 pairs of size 14 jeans (and the ONLY ones I've kept are the ones that I avoided like the plague because they were tight).  I've kept them for reasons like Saturday; I wore a pair of RIDING PANTS, and the jeans on top.  I have NEVER been able to fit a pair of riding pants underneath a pair of jeans, and actually be comfortable.  I still had to cinch up a belt to keep them from sagging, but I was nice and warm:)  I came to the sad realization that I'm going to have to get rid of my pretty red formal dress I bought for cruises; it's super pretty, but it just does NOT fit any more (yay!).

Today, I began round 2 of Insanity.  I am hitting it hard core, 6 days a week and following the program closely.  I also began logging all my food into Spark People again, which is a PAIN, but I want to make sure I'm staying within my "maintain" parameters.  It tells me I can have around 2200 calories a day, but I want to stay around 2000.  Don't want to lose, just want to tone up again.  I'd gained some nice muscle tone, but took a nice break for a few months.  I'm still in that in between stage where my 10's need a belt, but some of the 8's are a little tight in the thighs.  Hopefully after the next 60 days, those 8's will fit like perfection:)  So, without further ado, here's my fit test numbers after starting over ... again!
switch kicks-83
power jacks-48
power knees-92
power jumps-30
globe jumps-9
Suicide jumps-11
push up jacks-13
low plank obliques-39

But ... WHERE is God?

In my most favorite place!

So, in my mind, I'm an amazing writer.  I'm witty, articulate, and can weave an amazing blog post at a moment's notice.  Well, we all have to have a fantasy, right?  I've had this blog post rolling around in my mind now for almost a month, but I'm having a tough time putting it out here on the web.  Why?  Because I'm not sure I can truly articulate what it is I'm feeling; I sometimes have a difficult time making a point, but I'm going to try!

Where do you find God?  In church?  Do you go to church faithfully every Sunday/Wednesday?  Do you go both in the morning and evening? Do you feel like a better person for having gone?  Do you tithe?  Or just give offering?  Sunday school?  Now ... how does all that make you FEEL?  Do you cry?  Do you get goosebumps?  Or do you try your hardest not to check your e-mail and try to be discreet when you yawn?

I feel God.  I don't feel Him very often in church.  I HAVE.  But there is some wall inside of me that prevents demonstrative hand raising, voice raising, and a flood of tears.  I'm always grateful when He DOES break through while I'm in church, but I think all the material/obligational distractions prevent my heart from receiving the necessary message.

I feel Him when I stand on the edge of the Smokey Mountains and peer through the mist on a cool Spring morning.  I feel Him when we drive through the Zion National Park, in the amazing rock formations.  I feel Him as I stand on the balcony of a cruise ship and see the frothy waves churning in the wake of the giant ship.  When I'm hiking through the woods, when I'm galloping across a field on my horse, and when I'm nervously leaning over the edge of the Grand Canyon, trying to just take in the vastness of it.  I get tears in my eyes, goosebumps on my arms, and the fine hairs on the back of my neck stand up in electric ecstasy.

Enjoy these moments, embrace them.  My mom recently had a discussion where we were talking about "real life", and she said, "This is all there is.  Get up, go to work, come home, go to bed.  Get up and do it all over again.  Grow up, Honey".  Well, I respectfully disagree.  Do what you have to do to live, to survive.  Then get out there and enjoy the gifts God has to give you.  Do what makes you happy, enjoy those moments when the goosebumps appear, and ALWAYS be thankful when He makes His presence known:)