A Thanksgiving post, but not a Thanksgiving post ;)

Happy Thanksgiving 2014!  This post is not going to be a "thankful" post.  I've made a REAL effort in my life to be thankful for all that I have every single day.  I'm thankful for a LOT of things, and not just during the month of November, or on Thanksgiving.  No, my post today is more of a reflective type post, thinking back on the past 17 months.

This is sad, but I honestly didn't realize just how unhappy I was until I have discovered how happy I am now.  Maybe we all need a change every 10 years or so, I don't know.  For instance, a song from my playlist wold play (ALWAYS one about feeling hopeless, but trusting in God to pull you through) and I would start to cry.  I felt so unbelievably trapped in my old life, but I didn't even know it.  I prayed so hard, every day, for SOMETHING.  I don't even know what.  Just something.  And finally, it happened.  I made it happen, by the grace and the glory of God we are here.

The past 17 months have NOT been a cakewalk.  They've been hard work, stress, worry, but also, that glimmer of what the future is going to hold.  I have been washed away of my old self, and re-born in my Christianity; I've been biblically baptized and truly, fundamentally changed.

I believe that God has made this beautiful, amazing, and perfect world for us to explore and experience.  California is a BEAUTIFUL state, full of raw, breathtaking sights.  It is home to virtually every climate type out there.  We have snow, heat, temperate rain forest, desert, mountains, beach, ocean, lakes, rivers, canyons, valleys, you name it!  We are having so much fun just carving out our new living here on the west coast, and taking every opportunity to travel our amazing home state and see all that it has to offer.  We spend Thanksgiving in Ft. Bragg at a little place called Glass Beach.  The beach is FILLED with sea glass, which at first glance appears to just be gravel, but when you really look at it, you see all the colored bits of glass.  So pretty and unique!

  The Denny's out there was open, so Kody and I had club sandwiches, and David had a Grand Slam breakfast as our Thanksgiving day lunch, and it was just perfect.  We enjoyed the 3 1/2 hour drive immensely, spending time on the good old Highway 1 Pacific Coast Highway, heading up the coast!  We got to drive through Redwoods, which we did NOT expect, and I got my saltwater fix :)

Moving forward and looking at 2015, my plans include moving on up in my dental practice.  I work hard every day at work, learning more and more, and as my training gets more intense, responsibilities and raises come along with that.  I pray that David can figure out a way of dropping one of his 2 jobs, but making enough money and working full time at ONE that he brings home the same salary he has working the 2.  I know he has the skills to do it, he just needs the opportunity, so I continue to pray for him.  Kody will move on up the 8th grade at his amazing PFAA, and I'm so excited to see him perform in the male ensemble for his middle school performance this year of "Thoroughly Modern Millie".  He's worked very hard, and had lots of practices, so I hope his return to the stage after a year long hiatus is fun and rewarding for him!

Sorry about the long times between blog posts; I have to be online a whole bunch dealing with social media stuff for my eventing barn, and that takes up a TON of time.  By the time I'm finished figuring out what to post there, I have nothing left for my blog.  I'll have another one up soon, maybe in about 2 weeks.  Hope my family is doing well, I miss you all!

A serious post ...

I know many people don't want to hear it.  They'd rather stick their heads in the sand and say things like, "Well, I'm not positive whether or not God exists, so I'm just gonna live my life in a GOOD way, be nice to people, and that way all my bases are covered".  I'm here to tell ya, you are NOT covered, and you will NOT be ascending to Heaven when you die if you adopt this attitude.  Stop reading right now if you don't care to be Saved.  If you're unsure about whether you'd go to Heaven when you die and you want to know ... keep reading.  If you're SURE you won't go to Heaven when you die ... keep reading!  You CAN be on your way there today :)

Christians have the Bible to tell us for sure whether or not we're going to Heaven.  It tells us in Romans 3:23  For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.

ALL have sinned.  We ALL come short of God's glory.  Without Him, we ALL go to Hell.  Think your sin is less than someone else's?  Continue reading.

Romans 6:23 says For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

In Revelation 20:14. 15 it defines the word "death":  And death and hell were cast into the lake of fire.  This is the second death. (15) And whoseover was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire.

"But, I'm a GOOD person!  I've never murdered anyone, and I don't cheat on my taxes, therefore I'm not going to Hell, right?"

Revelation lists the people that will go to Hell in 21:8  But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone:  which is the second death.

Unbelieving?  Gee, if you don't think God exists, you're unbelieving.  Fearful, abominable, murders, whoremongers, sorcerers, idolaters?  Hmmm, you haven't killed anybody!  And you're definitely not a sorcerer or abomidable.  But are you a liar?  White lies count.  Lies of omission count.  If you've lied you're going to Hell.  We don't get to pick and choose which sins are better or worse.  A sin is a sin is a sin, and the punishment is death by being cast into the lake of fire.

Sadly, the Bible tells us in James 2:10:  For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.
That means if we've sinned ONCE in our whole lives, we are as guilty as if we'd committed every sin and abominaton in the Bible.

Keep on reading ... here is the GOOD news!  Ephesians 2:8 says this:  For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of youselves; it is the gift of God (9) Not of works, lest any man should boast.

For by GRACE.  What is grace?  Grace is something you don't deserve, something given to you for free.  Faith, faith is BELIEF on the lord Jesus Christ, it's belief that:
1.  Jesus died for our sins
2.  Jesus was born of a virgin
3.  Jesus was God in the flesh
4. Jesus never sinned and was therefore perfect and did NOT deserve to die
5. He died for US, for our sins; he was perfect and had NO sin, therefore he died for all of OUR sins, so that we may be able to live life in eternity.

Romans 5:8 states this:  But God commandeth his love towards us, it that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

So now we've explained faith, what about Ephesians 2:9?  NOT of WORKS, lest any man should boast.  What does that mean?  Let's say I give you a birthday gift.  If I give it to you, is it a gift?  How about if I tell you to pay me $15 and I'll give it to you?  Is it a gift then?  How about if I tell you to wash my car, then we'll call it even and I'll give you the gift?  Is it a gift?  NO!!  If you have to pay for or do work for an item, it is NOT a gift, it's something you worked for.  It's a wage, not a gift.  John 3:16 is one of the most famous passages in the Bible:

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believith in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.  That passage is preceeded by this one:  John 3:15  That whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have eternal life.

Do these passages mention anything about working for eternal life?  And does eternity ever end?  So if we become Saved and then kill someone, does our eternal life all of a sudden become revoked?  If someone is saved, and he decides to live a homosexual lifestyle, does he lose his eternal life?  And if someone kills himself, does he lose his eternal life?  The bible tells us no, we CANNOT lose our salvation.

Titus 1:2 In hope of eternal life, which God, that cannot lie, promised before the world began.

Our hope for eternal life is that God cannot lie to us.  Once we're promised eternity, we cannot lose our salvation because of any ACTIONS we do here on earth.  Just like our actions cannot SAVE us (being nice, reading our Bible, giving to charity, recycling, installing solar panels, BEING BAPTIZED, tithing, etc), neither can our actions cause us to lose our salvation and go to Hell.  Pretty awesome, powerful stuff, huh?  Not gonna lie, I didn't know I could go to Heaven and not be baptized, and I thought I could do something horrible enough to warrant losing my salvation.  Turns out, God is much greater than I am, and my piddly little actions here on earth do NOT trump belief and faith.

If you've read this far, and your heart has been changed and you want to make sure you're on your way to Heaven, the Bible tells us in Romans 10:9:

That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.

Simple.  Do you believe you're a sinner?  Do you believe that the punishment for being a sinner is death in Hell?  Do you believe that Jesus Christ was killed, buried, and rose up from the grave for your sins?  Do you believe God has promised us eternal life and He will NOT take it away?  It's time for you to pray, and pray and believe with your WHOLE heart and WHOLE soul:

"Dear Jesus, I know I'm a sinner and deserve to go to Hell, but I believe you died on the cross, was buried, and rose again to pay for my sins.  I ask you to save me, forgive me of my sin, and take me to Heaven when I die.  Thank you for giving me eternal life.  Amen".

And FINALLY ... a piece of the puzzle falls into place!

The Nutty Buddy's first day of school.  Tomorrow he gets another first day of school!

One of the reasons we moved to CA is because we wanted Kody to fit in even better than he already does.  He's one of those kids loved by adults and even older kids, but the kids his own age regarded him as an oddity; one to be picked on.  He loved his hand full of friends he had in GA, but we strongly felt like the move xc was the right one.

Fast forward to internet searches trying to find out school systems.  HOLY MOLY.  CA is nothing like GA when it comes to schools.  Every little "town" has about 10 schools, and I'm NOT exaggerating.  The districts are such that the homes in radius of the school are close enough to walk/bike to, so there's virtually NO bus service.  You know those mile long lines of the big yellow busses?  Yeah, NOT in CA.  There are also a plethora of charter schools.  Sadly, the charter schools are the best ones because they're strongly supported by the parents; involvement, money, etc.  They are tuition free, but require volunteer hours in order to enroll.  OK, no problem!  Well, NONE of the charter schools, or even the GOOD schools have openings.  The best you can hope for is to either go on a wait list, or enter into the lottery drawing system and hope for the best.  I found the Natomas Charter School online in the area of our apartment complex:  www.natomascharter.org   Looked PERFECT!  Just what Kody needed to go to.  An academically strong school with an emphasis on the performing arts.  Dang, I would have LOVED this school when I was a kid; ballet and music classes??  Heck yeah!  We were hoping our move would place Kody in an environment where he was around other kids "like" him.  Ones that were artistically inclined and focused on their own development.  Yeah, no.

Last year was a pretty big disappointment, school wise.  FIRST thing upon arrival in CA, we drove straight up the street to enroll in PFAA as it's known.  Haha, 60 kids already on the list for 6th grade.  THAT wasn't happening.  So he went to Natomas Park, and that was a year I'd prefer to just forget.  He got suspended for the first time for fighting.  FIGHTING, DAKOTA BISHOP.  He's definitely a make peace, not war kind of kid.  And his grades were just barely squeaking by at "average".  No A, B, C, F grade system there; no, it was 1 (below grade level) to 4 (above grade level) with a 3 being described as 'meets the grade standards'.  He got STRAIGHT 3's, all year long.  Eh, could have been worse I suppose, but definitely could have been better.  This time, we got our registration in early (Jan), got him to the audition for the PFAA in March, and found out in May he was in the top 15% of the audition criteria, AND he lives within district, so he was given top priority in the lottery drawings; 5th on the list.  Woo Hoo!  I was pretty happy with that!  What's crazy is not ONE single 7th grader was accepted.  None.  The rising 6th graders occupied every available spot.  We tried to remain optimistic, but y'all know anything may or may not happen.

First day of school was today.  Sadly, Kody was forced to attend Natomas Middle School which has DISMAL, and I do mean DISMAL test scores.  The student hand book has 3 long paragraphs on what kinds of clothing not to wear since it portrays gang symbolism.  Ugh.  I SEVERELY stereo-typed what kinds of kids live in CA; let me tell ya, they're NOTHING like how I thought they'd be.  Living as close as we do to Sac, the term, "gang banger" isn't an incorrect description when it comes to the average middle/high school kid around here :(  I honestly, seriously, genuinely have been contemplating just yanking him out of school and having him do online school, it's that bad.  And THEN ... I got the call.  HE GOT ACCEPTED TO PFAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  OH HAPPY DAY, GOD SAID "YES", and now Kody's life is forever changed.  Just scroll around on that website a little bit.  Multiple academic and artistic awards, teachers that are involved and CARE about the kids, opportunities for performances and learning ... words cannot express how delighted I am that FINALLY, this part of our plan has snapped into place.

David checked Kody out around 12:30 since everything he did the rest of the day was irrelevent anyway, and I took him with me up to the charter school to hand in his paperwork.  EVERY teacher we encountered smiled and acknowledged us, the 7th grade coordinator lady spent about 45 mins w/ us, building his schedule and then giving us a campus tour and introducing him to some of his teachers.  His day will begin tomorrow morning with "Acting", and will include PE every day, AND a "Dance" class.  He has "Acting" all year long, and the "Dance" elective will be swapped out mid way thru the year for something else.  They also have tech based electives like "Video Game Production", which he will try to do next time.  The best part?  Now, he's IN!  Our son will graduate from the PFAA, and I am SO excited he will get a quality education as well as crucial training and exposure in the arts.  Can't wait for the rest of this year!

Your public life and your private life

After church today

So today's sermon was interesting.  As Pastor said, not terribly deep, but certaintly contemplation-worthy.  I think doing selfless things is hard.  By nature, most of us are pretty selfish; in today's age of living our lives on facebook, we tend to advertise when we do something nice for someone.  A facebook friend recently posted a pic of a good deed they did for someone.  Why?  For a pat on the back?  So everyone can tell you how great and clever you are, and gee you're SUCH a humanitarian?

In the story of Joshua, God tells him to build 2 memorials using 12 rocks.  One, on the other side of the River Jordan to commemorate the momentous crossing of the river.  The other was to be a personal, private memorial in the MIDDLE of the River Jordan, underneath the water that only Joshua and God knew about.  Our public lives are important; how we present ourselves, the example we lead for other people, how we act, etc.  But our private lives are JUST as important.  Do you spend more time getting your hair and makeup right for church than you do preparing your heart and mind to hear God's Word?

What happnes in your private life sets the stage for your public one.

Matthew 6:3 says when you do something nice for someone, you will be openly rewarded by God when you do it in PRIVATE.  So, if you give money, help them out, whatever, you will be rewarded by Him when you DON'T go around bragging about it.

Matthew 6:6 says when you pray "in secret", literally go into a closet to pray, you will be openly rewarded for it.

Mathew 6:18 says if you fast, do it and then don't tell everyone about it expecting pats on the back.  It's between you and God.  When you fast, you don't show it to the world.

I've known quite a few self-righteous women with long hair that wear skirts that think they're superior to us short haired, pants wearing sinners.  They may LOOK right on the outside, but that self-righteous attitude tells the world they're NOT right on the inside.  God know you, ALL of you, 100% of you.  He knows your motivations, your reasons, your everything.  You don't need to go posting pics of you doing nice things in the hopes that maybe it'll go viral in order to feel a sense of accomplishment.

God LOVES you.  Work on your outward appearance, but also work on your private thoughts and motivations.  DO good deeds and nice things, but be secure enough in your self that you do it for NO other reason than to help someone else out.  What you sow here on Earth is what you will reap in Heaven.

Another "happiest day of my life" stories

I almost always think about it before I ever say, "This is the happiest day of my life" because in general, I'm a pretty happy person with LOTS of happy days.  Sometimes those days are simply that the 3 of us laughed a lot and spent time together.  Sometimes it's an EVENT, like the one I'm about to tell y'all about.  Sometimes it's just a general peacefulness that is perceived as happiness.  But whatever, I feel like we have moments when we feel like THIS is the happiest day of my life.  I'm going to tell y'all ONE of the happiest days of my life :)

June 26, 1999 dawned hot and humid in Woodstock, GA, but it wasn't unbearable.  I had been 20 years old for 4 months and felt pretty much on top of the world.  It had all come together in just 10 short weeks.  The venue, the food, the DRESS, the rings, the tux, the wedding party, the invitations ... ALL of it.  Even the honeymoon; 5 fun-filled days in Aruba in an all-inclusive resort.  We had managed to secure a rental car for the duration even though neither me nor my soon-to-be husband was 25 ... but that's a WHOLE 'nother story, lol.

Why had my wedding been planned and pulled together in a mere 10 weeks?  Well, speculation from family members was that I was already pregnant.  The reality?  The love of my life and I had decided that since we were engaged, it made sense to move in together.  You know, learn a little responsibility, pay all our bills, etc?  We WERE looking with potential room mates, but when I casually informed my mom I was planning to do this, I'll NEVER forget what she said to me.  Her "angry" eyes drilled into mine, and she said, "WELL, YOU'RE GOING TO BE THE ONE THAT TELLS YOUR GRANDPARENTS YOU'RE 'SHACKING UP', NOT ME!"  So of course that led to a pretty short argument that ended with,
"Well, why don't we just get married then?"

"FINE!"

(pull out my pocket calendar) "How about June 26th?  It's a Saturday".

"FINE".

Long story short, that actually led to June 26th being the real date, and I jumped on the details.  Dress from David's Bridal, Bridesmaids were my sister, future sister-in-law, and my friend from work.  I'd lost touch with many of my best high school girlfriends and felt awkward asking them to actually be a bridesmaid, but I did invite everyone.  Invites ordererd from Party City, the venue was right up the street in Woodstock; a historical house with a gorgeous garden and a nice, big, open "carriage house" where we cold hold both the service and the reception.  The original plan was to have the service in the garden, but what if it RAINED?

The only hitch in the entire process was the cake.  Oh, that cake, lol.  My future mother-in-law had a 'cake lady' named Mrs. Sailor that had done an AMAZING job on her 25th anniversary cake.  She arranged to have her make mine.  The design I had picked was a simple basked weave design with peach, baby blue, and navy blue flowers piped on.  What was delivered was a BLOB with these horrible neon green, neon pink and bright blue blobs all over it.  When it was removed from the box and set out, all I could do was laugh hysterically, it was that bad.  Fortunately, when the caterer saw it, she asked me WTHeck design I had told the lady to do, I explained it her, and she whisked it away to see if she could fix it.  I was whisked away to be coiffed and dressed, and right before guests were scheduled to arrive, I saw the cake again and it was AMAZING.  No longer a blob, it had an elegant basket weave pattern on it, and a few of my loose while lily flowers had been placed on top because icing flowers were NOT happening at that point.  I hugged my caterer and felt a sense of relief that was done.

After the ceremony, we took pictures outside, and I was EXCEEDINGLY grateful we'd done it indoors because I was sweating everywhere ... and my flowers were HEAVY.  They were beautiful, but they were huge and heavy.  Once the dancing began, there was lots of crying, lots of laughter, and lots of fun.  I am so grateful to everyone that participated that day, it WAS at that point the happiest day of my life.  David and I are celebrating 15 beautiful, glorious years today.  We've weathered amazing times, and hard times, and our relationship is all the stronger for it.  One year ago in 2 days, we trekked all the way across the country to continue our life together in a completely different place and situation.  It's been hard, but it's also been amazing.  I can not WAIT to see what the NEXT 15 years brings us; if I know US, I know it certainly won't be boring :)

Just a June update ...

Well.  The month of June is almost over!  Can't even believe it.  We're coming up on ONE YEAR in CA.  We left GA on June 28th.  7 more days :)  Our plan thus far is to stay in our apartment for one more year, then move into a house.  My job is going GREAT.  I've gotten a very substantial raise since I began in October, and I'm getting a fair amount of daily overtime right now, so I'm just enjoying it and appreciating it.

David always has job drama.  His newer second job is going great.  I wish it paid more, b/c then he might consider making it his primary, but he's making less at that job than I started with at mine.  His Kings job is just such a freaking mess, I can NOT understand why he can't find a position with ONE company that has its head NOT stuck up its rear end.  My husband is AMAZING.  He's authoritative, he's got a great business sense, and he's a wonderful salesman.  It KILLS me that he can't find a freaking GOOD job; one w/ decent hours and one w/ decent pay.  So I pray for him, and I ask for friends and family to pray for him.  Yes, I still want to win the lottery, but I'm praying for his work situation to be GOOD for the first time in his life, with little to no drama.  We're both willing to WORK for a living, I'm just hoping God will bless us with a situation that's quite literally workable and livable.

Anyway, I'm doing my monthly soul-winning today.  I WAS going to go out door to door, but truly ... I feel like at the moment, I will reach more people by this blog than I will knocking on doors of people's homes that honestly don't want to be reached.  That's the beauty of a blog; you read it if you're interested, and it's on YOUR terms.

We've been doing a series on God's blessings on our life.  Many christians interpret God's blessings to be financial ones, when in actuality, that's pretty far from the truth.  There are countless stories in the bible about men that were blessed, yet suffered great trials.  For instance; the story of Joseph.  He was sold into slavery by his own BROTHERS, thrown in a pit, and was in bondage.  But the bible says he was surely blessed.  He had God all throughout his ordeal, and at the end of it all, ended up the right hand of Pharaoh and turned out to be a great leader.  But he lost everything.  Job lost his entire LIFE, his family, his things, everything on earth that defined him; through it all, he never lost his faith in God, and eventurally emerged with a new family, restored wealth, and lots of happiness.  The key of that story is FAITHFULNESS.  I have a few good quotes here that I'm going to throw out.
"God's blessing can NOT be measured by our PLEASURE".
"The Bible strengthens us from within.  When you get connected to God, you are not beaten down by outside forces".
"God has invested in us, and he expects a return on that investment".
"Integrity is doing right by CONVICTION, not CIRCUMSTANCE".
And the final one:
"FAITH has everything to do with what you BELIEVE.  FAITHFULNESS has everything to do with what you DO".

At the end of the day, you KNOW what you're supposed to do.  Read your bible, obey your bible, walk with integrity, work hard in your life, and tithe.  Doing these 5 things will make sure you are blessed by God; maybe that doesn't mean great financial riches, but it DOES mean always having food on your table and a roof over your head.  It means having a job to go to every day. It may mean good health, or a wonderful, loving family.  Blessings are also a MINDSET, we have to be appreciative for what we have.  When we do the above 5 things, God will help us to HAVE that proper mindset so that we can see and enjoy the blessed life we lead.

May Daze ...

A shot of the xc course at my barn!

Gosh, I feel the need to begin every blog post with an apology!  I'm just sort of failing a little bit, here:(  In defense, I HAVE been really busy.  My 2 experienced co-workers quit leaving me with the "seniority" position in the office (SCARY!), and I've been opening and closing every work day.  On my one day off a week, I spend it at the barns.  Yes, barns :)  Then every spare second I'm online, I'm spening it trying to help my trainer promote her business.  Not a whole lot of time left for ME.

Church is going well.  I'm contemplating the idea of wearing skirts more often; I'm playing with the idea of buying some tennnis skirts and leggings for when I want to wear my sneakers "out and about".  I'm growing my hair back out for now; not really all that sure where I will end up with the whole "women wear skirts and have long hair thing", because I will NOT give up riding, and skirts and horses don't go together, but I just have to see where God leads me.  I've gone soul winning twice now and it wasn't too bad; I haven't "talked" yet, I've been a silent partner so far, and no one has been ugly to us yet, so I will keep going out once a month for now.

My weight has stabilized at the moment, but I'm working on kickstarting another loss.  I just completed week 1 of Insanity, ending with a 3 mile walk with the dogs on my "rest" day, and we'll see if I manage to complete all 6 days of week 2!  I haven't been calorie counting at all, and I think know I need to be using my "Spark People" if I REALLY want to lose dramatically again.  I really enjoyed my week of gym classes, but I HAVE to be realistic ... the gym I went to was so I could take my friend's class she teaches; all the way across town about 3 minutes from my office ... at 5:00 in the morning.  I've joined gyms before, and I ALWAYS quit going.  ALWAYS.  There is always a reason I justify for not going; gas is too expensive, I have to get Kody ready for school, I don't want to put the dogs up, etc., etc.  So, despite an excited thought about joining, I decided to hold off on that for now.  David JUST got himself a 2nd job, and the truck will be paid off by Christmas, so maybe as a Christmas present to myself or something I will join a local gym called Kaia fitness.  It's like group taught Insanity classes 4-5 days a week; you pay $119 a month to go, so that hopefully means you actually commit and GO.  We'll see.

I promise I will try to get back to regular blogging!  I also squeeze in 5 chapters a day of reading my Bible (which, if you've never done that, is surprisingly hard!), but that's no excuse :)  I feel the need to motivate people, and I'll never do that if I don't motivate myself, so I'm working on it.  Things really are good right now, I can't complain.  Hope all the mothers out there have had a fantastic mother's day!  I have, I thank God every day, multiple times a day for the life I lead.  It's a beautiful one :D

Just a little bit of catching up

Sorry for the quietness.  All is well out here in Cali!  I like to try and give this blog 100%, so when I'm tired or whatever, I don't necessarily feel like opening up my notes from church and sitting down to write a blog.  So, that means I've neglected it!

I'll be honest ... I feel myself being a little bit self-sabatoging when it comes to eating.  I'm getting back into that mode of "I'll eat a freaking quarter pounder and fries if I want to.  SCREW IT".  Why do people do that?  Why would I sabatoge what I worked so hard for?  9 months of craziness in order to lose 45 lbs ... I've put 25 of it back on.  WHY?  How is it I can go 9 months with no dessert/sweet drinks/etc, and all of a sudden I'm back to screw it mode?  I don't know, I need a shrink I guess.

Work is going well, church is great, we're caught up on all our bills, David has a job interview for a 2nd job AND it looks like maybe his hours will be picking up so things are going well right now.   Who knows?  I just need to kick my own butt again and CARE.  Ugh.

Anyway, Pastor has been getting through to me in church, and I'm planning to go 'soul winning' this Saturday.  What is soul winning?  I'd never heard of it either!  It means to go door to door and preach the gospel.  If you actually know me in real life, you'll know I'm passionate about horses and can blab on all day long about horse theory, etc. You also know I'm completely non-confrontational, and I don't pretty much ever TALK about God in real life.  Here on my blog, sure.  But face to face?  No.  Why?  Because up until recently, I have not felt educated enough to talk about God at all, to anyone.  I haven't even been able to define my beliefs until recently, and I finally feel like I sort of KNOW what I need to do in order live my life like God wants me to.  So, going soul winning is very scary for me, and completely out of my comfort zone, but it is MY job as a christian to DO THIS.  Rev 20:10, John 3:36. and Jude 1:22 all discuss the importance of winning souls to Christ.  These passages impress upon the importance of using this ONE chance here on Earth to go out and reach people and tell them about God.  Luke 15:7 says Heaven rejoices when we preach the gospel.

Many churches rejoice in their NUMBERS each Sunday.  "Hey!  Yay!  We got this new building and 25 more people walked in the door this week than last week!  We're doing so great, God is truly blessing us!".  Um, this is flawed rejoicing.  Numbers are great ... but if those numbers are lazy and apathetic and come through the door in order to "show face", what good are they doing?  The true measure of a church's success is how well it trains the congregation to go out and MAKE a difference in the community by teaching doctrine, NOT by handing out food or blankets to the homeless, or even worse, doing nothing but showing up.

It's hard facts.  Pastor is not all love and light, "Name it and Claim it", etc.  He's a realist, a true "Bible Thumping" preacher.  He's not about "fire and brimstone", either.  He's about making you THINK.  He's about FORCING you to either quit going to church because you're tired of being told what you should be doing, OR to change your life and get right with God.  Getting right with God is HARD, just like losing weight and KEEPING IT OFF, just like getting fit and STAYING that way.  You have to work at it, even when you don't feel like it.  The message from this past Sunday is to remember that even though we are IN this world, we are not to be OF this world, we are to separate ourselves from what the world says is important.  I have been reading my Bible every single day since January.  I've probably only gone ... maybe 5 days total so far where I didn't crack it open, which is AMAZING for me.  I've never read the Bible cover to cover; it's hard, but I'm doing it.

Anyway.  That's all I have to say today :)  I'm working hard to better my spiritual self, now I need to make sure I'm not neglecting my physical self in the process.  I have to remember that every single day, TODAY is the first day of the rest of my life, and I have the opportunity to be an amazing person.  So do you.  Go be amazing!  Love y'all :)

How do you worship?

The gift of the holy ghost is a rare gift.  I believe I received it a time or 2 ... but not in the sense of having an out of body experience and speaking in tongues (because that has NEVER happened to me).  No, I think my gifts have been from music.  I've always been musically inclined; I was a band geek in middle and high school, and I was in formal dance lessons from age 2 and on.  I met my husband in a country line dancing bar on "family night" for crying out loud!  Music is a part of my soul; it can serve to help me along when I'm feeling sorry for myself, or serve as a booster to make me feel good.  When Whitney Houston's "I wanna dance with somebody" comes on, I smile ALWAYS 100% of the time.

Some of my early criteria for attending church has been the music program.  I've always loved theatrical/dramatic music productions.  Sadly, picking a church based upon it's music has ended up back firing every single time.  We get a nice 45-50 minutes of singing and worship, then 20 minutes of a mind numbing message, DONE.  Church over.  Obligation done for the week.  It's left me feeling somewhat hypocritical of myself, and led to our lackadaisical church attendance over the years.  I'm sensitive enough that if I'm in the right frame of mind, and a certain Christian song comes through the speakers, I'm in tears.  DONE!  There's the moving of my spirit, no church needed.

Fast forward to a few years ago, when David and I found Truthway.  David became fast and instant friends with the pastor, and I found a message that I actually enjoyed.  The music was pretty good; most weekends I could really get into the spirit because he would sing modern, relevant music from my faves like Jeremy Camp, Kutless, Casting Crowns, Mercy Me ...  all was well.  Then, the pastor's life changed when he had an opportunity to move to a much bigger church as an associate pastor and we followed him, and our church experience turned into a great big Christian Rock concert.  It was great!  Soul stirring!  Dramatic!  I loved the head pastor (until I saw his true personality on the reality TV series he starred in).  Then, his preaching became hypocritical and melodramatic, and we were done with church again for awhile.

Fast forward to NOW.  No more musical requirements, just quality of preaching and a genuine spirit.  We found it in the first church we attended, Verity Baptist Church.  Small, mixed congregation (around 40 people, average).  Small building, young pastor with a wonderful wife and 3 small kids.  Personal attention ... and a message STRAIGHT from the bible.  No rabbit holes, no screaming of hellfire and brimstone, no "name it and claim it", just the cold, hard truth.  He LIVES the life he preaches about.  He has no TV, he doesn't do facebook, his wife homeschools the kids, they have daily family bible study, they sing together, and he has no idea who Jeremy Camp is.  What?

Pastor says if you want a rock concert, there's churches for that.  We sing hymns, and that isn't going to change, ever.  I don't mind.  I sing them.  Have I ever been moved to tears by a hymn?  Well, this one moved me to tears!   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMUplV73baA#t=323  But I don't think we're going to be having a performance like that at Verity, EVER.  Is wanting/needing that type of performance in my life every now and then wrong?  Pastor's music selection is hymns, that's it.  Mostly piano renditions of them.  I understand that modern Christian music is sometimes put out there by singers that couldn't make it in the Pop industry, so they changed to the Christian genre.  I like to believe I can FEEL when a song/singer is genuine.  When they're just singing the words, or when they FEEL and BELIEVE the words.  I like to think that all my favorites are genuine Christians that love God and live their life right.  The songs I DON'T like are the cutesy, pop sounding ones (Jamie Grace ... Imma 'bout to get my worship on?  UGH!).

Our church is moving to a bigger building ... attendance is up from the 40 or so, to regularly 70+, so we're outgrowing our space.  I guess someone had made a suggestion to "update" the music, because that's when he stood up and assured us that Verity is NOT changing, we will sing hymns, and if you want a rock concert, there's a church for that.  I appreciate the words.  I love having 20 minutes of singing (sitting down!) and an hour of feverish note taking.  But my soul HUNGERS for that amazing music.  I've never particularly loved "How Great Thou Art", because I've always found it to be somewhat repetitive and awkward, but the above listed Youtube video moved me to tears.  MORE tears the 2nd time I watched it!  It was incredible.  I wish there could be a happy medium between amazing, soul stirring worship, AND the truth straight from the bible.  I understand how Pastor can be somewhat "against" modern Christian recording artists; it's all about the all mighty dollar, just like any other recording artist.  BUT!  They're getting music out there that worships God, quotes the bible, and makes OLD hymns relevant to the masses.  Is that a bad thing?  I think there's room to modernize the music selection ... every once in awhile ... selectively ... right?  Or is there NO room for that in strict, traditional religious services?  Regardless, we're not changing.  We may just have to branch out once in awhile to take in some of that musical awesomeness. :)

NOT reflecting back on 2013 ...

Yep.  It's Yosemite!

Beautiful blue bird

Reflecting pool

Beautiful little church inside the park

No deer in the road this time, thank goodness!

I love my beautiful family!

Me taking a pic of the SIL taking a pic of me!

I could live in this small town :)

Low water levels :(

I absolutely, 148% LOVE California :)

Loved this view so much, made hubby pull over so I could take a pic!

On the way to Yosemite

My little man's growing up so fast!

I'm about to be brutally honest ... I hate New Year's.  Yep, I never stay awake until midnight, I hate to look back on the previous year, and I despise "New Year Resolutions".  I do not/will never eat collard greens, and black eyed peas are my least favorite peas on the planet.  To me, it's just a new day.  When I started this blog, my plan was to live EVERY day like it's the first day of the rest of my life.  When I wake up each morning, the days behind me are just that, BEHIND me.

The last few years have been tough for me.  I would venture to say that 100% of my problems in life are money related.  I contemplate ALL the time picking up a 2nd job to boost the income, but then that will suck every single ounce of enjoyment out of life.  We're still struggling pretty hard right now because it took us SO long to find jobs, and what we make right now barely covers our outgoing, there's just nothing left over to bolster us back up.  It's depressing, to be honest.  But, I work hard to not let that bother me.  I trust that God will help us; even when I really can't afford to do so, I drop a $20 in the offering plate every Sunday.  I've paid for other people's meals in the drive-thru line, and if I have a few dollars in my wallet, I will drop them in a sign holder's bucket on the side of the road.  I haven't bought myself NEW clothes in about 6 years.  All my "smaller" clothes, I purchased from Goodwill.  Heck, my SIL had to buy my son new clothes, he's been sorely lacking in that department because Goodwill hasn't had a good selection in his size.  My only "new" indulgence has been my running shoes I purchased from the running store.  Not looking for sympathy, just stating facts.  I'm constantly optimistic about what may come about, but I pretty much always have a small feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach every single day thinking about upcoming bills, bills I'm late on, groceries I have to buy, gas I have to put in the tank ... THAT is my wish for 2014, that I can be current and UTD on everything in my life, I can look at my bank account without feeling that sinking feeling of dread in my gut, and I can provide for my family without relying on outside help.

ANYWAY, WAY too much information, I'll probably delete this later, but it feels good to get it off my chest and release it to the atmosphere.

Had the BEST time with the SIL at Yosemite and Lake Tahoe.  It makes me a little sad that both venues are so low on snow this year, but it was great to be able to negotiate without having to worry about needing tire chains.  My teaching outside all those years helped teach me how to layer, so I was WARM and snuggly :)  We had no plans to ski this year; after seeing the prices of everything, I see it will cost us right at $500 for all 3 of us to ski one day.  YIKES!  Good thing I planned for that for next year anyway :)  At least I know now!  Going to leave y'all with some pics of our trip to Yosemite.  I have no "resolutions" to set, I'm simply resolving to let each day be on par, or better than the last.  When I feel discouraged, I pray.  When I feel particularly broke, I give.  I shop smart and don't apologize for it.  I have complete and utter faith that the $$ situation will improve, because that is something I CAN control.  I'll do what I have to do, even if that means waiting tables from 7-11 every night.  Hard work never killed anyone, and if there's one thing I know how to do, it's work hard.