Week 1 ... DONE

So blessed to see the spectacular Smoky Mountain sunrises every day

Wow.  5 days down, only 360 more to go!  It's almost disheartening to think of how truly difficult this week has been, but as most of us knows, it takes a minimum of 30 days to build a habit.  So if I can just get through 25 more days, I should be golden, right??

5 days, 5 different Insanity workouts.  I have worked every single muscle in my body.  Wednesday was the WORST, yesterday I was less sore, but my body felt like an unyielding block of wood, and today was hard b/c I NEED a nice, cushiony mat for my knees.  Regardless, I did do my best!

Went out to eat tonight.  Had mashed sweet potatoes and salad with NO dressing on it, just on the fork.  One roll.  Before I touched one single bite, I cut my chicken in half, and scraped half my sweet potatoes into a takeout box.  I'm currently about 30 minutes post meal, and I don't feel full at ALL.

Thursday's "Lower Body Focus" just about killed me!

I don't feel even the SLIGHTEST bit "smaller", but I do feel like I'm trying.  Guess we'll see what Wednesday's pics look like!  I'll combine yesterday and today's sweaty selfies into one post.  They're not the most flattering pics, but I think they capture the essence I'm looking for :)  Weekly meal plan and grocery shopping tomorrow!

REALLY need a nice thick yoga mat!

Hump Day Progress

Adventure is on the horizon ...

Wednesdays have always been my favorite.  It's half way through the work week, and it's a short day.  My routine worked out ok today; I do need to get mine and Colton's stuff ready to go the night before so all I have to do is grab and go.

Can't wait for these love handles to go bye bye!

Day 3 is probably the hardest for me; I am VERY sore by then, and pushing 'play' is the 2nd hardest thing; actually sitting up and putting my feet on the floor instead of pushing 'snooze' is the 1st hardest thing.  Shaun T did a very effective job of kicking my butt today; only 2 days left!  It hurts so good right now, great to feel the burn of work again!  I'm going to post a few pics every Wed of my progress.  Today I'm considering Ground Zero. 

Fat arms and fat belly ...

Happy Hump Day!

WHY do I still have back fat??

Be still, my heart!

Hello?  Bueller?  I mean, can anyone relate here??  Lol.  I don't know about y'all, but I fall into the trap of, "I've eaten well for the past 24 hours, I've worked out for TWO DAYS in a ROW here, and I still have fat rolls.  WTH?"

Don't think you can see that bead of sweat rolling down my neck

I'm in AMAZING shape for a morning routine here; Tuesdays are going to become my get stuff DONE days :)  I don't have to be at work until 9:30; it takes me half an hour to get to work.  My normal Tuesday routine is hit 'snooze' 4 dozen times until I roll out of bed around 8:15, then by the time I get all my stuff packed and ready to go, it's 9:00 and I've barely gotten it all together.  This morning?  It's currently 6:12 in the morning, workout DONE, showered, made up, dressed, hair coiffed, and my first cup of coffee by my side.  WHAT?!  Lol.

The normal Tuesday is David's day off, so I usually don't have to take Little Man to the babysitter, but with the holidays, he's working the rest of the week.  We're down to 1 vehicle this week, b/c David dug into the car to replace the busted heater core (which entered literal meltdown stage last week, after being on the edge of broken for a year now) and realized he needs a mechanic to help him out.  So we're going to figure it out and hopefully come next Monday, I have a car with a nice, warm heater!

I'm going to make wise use of my extra time; finish up this post, read my bible, then get dinner in the crock pot.  I was already planning where to stop and pick up dinner on the way home, and I said NOT!  I have my handy dandy list on the fridge; it has 6 meals on it.  That means ONE DAY of eating out, not multiple days.  If we eat out tonight, that means nothing over the weekend, and David really likes to have a meal out either Friday or Saturday evening.  I have one meal planned that can go in the crock pot, and Kody's home to get it started, so I will chop up the beef, mix up the soy sauce and garlic, and get that broccoli beef simmering.  It's healthy, and it's DELICIOUS.

Amazing Broccoli Beef recipe

I guess not having a scale causes me a tiny bit of discouragement.  At least with a scale, you have a tangible THING that says you're on the right track.  Lately, I haven't stuck with any exercise/healthy eating LONG enough to feel my clothes loosen up, so I get discouraged.  I feel like yesterday's 24 hours of eating well was an eternity.  Today, I need to figure out lunch, dinner will be ready when I get off, and I'll have my usual Cheerios.  I HAVE discovered Kroger's Carb Master milk.  I've tried the low cal eater's favorite milk substitute Almond Milk, and I Just.Don't.Like.It.  I've tried different brands, different flavors, and it's just yuck.  I've thought about delving into Keto, but the guidelines are to stay UNDER 20 grams of Carbs a day, and my Cheerios are more than half that.  I tried eating eggs for breakfast, and #1 they don't stay with me, and #2 I'm about to eat the entire loaf of bread by dinner (hence the day I ate well ALL DAY and then gorged on 5 sliders and a bowl of Doritos).

Compare the labels.  Carb Master is AWESOME!

Last night I fixed the aforementioned sliders.  Used the same sweet buns I did last time.  Made it solely with Turkey Sausage.  I had TWO, only 1 bun (and just the bun bottoms, at that) and a bowl of my Boom Chicka Pop popcorn (my fave low cal option; 45 calories for a cup, and my bowl was about a cup and 3/4).  Dessert was a serving size of Turtle Chex Mix.  I have icecream, brownies, hot fudge, cookies, etc in the house.  I managed to walk by ALL of them, go me.  How long can I do it?  Hopefully 364 more days!

Couldn't resist this cuteness!

Here's to 2018!  I've got that "hurts so good" day 2 soreness going on.  I am dying to do the Hot Chocolate 5K; it's in Nashville (3 1/2 hours west) and it's the weekend before my birthday.  I have 4 weeks to decide for certain if I'm going to do it.  They have a 15K that would be AWESOME to shoot for next year.  Hopefully the weather moves about the 30's so I can not only get out and do Cto5K, but also so Khaleesi can get out and stretch her legs!!

One of our MANY trips down the Dragon's Tail this year

My annual Non-New Year's post!

It goes without saying that 2018 will include LOTS of motorcycle rides!!

I feel very blessed to say that with the exception of maybe 2012, I have never said "good riddance" to a particular year.  2017 was a great year for me.  It was like any other year, it had it's ups and downs, but I truly have no complaints!

For 2018, I don't have resolutions.  I have affirmations.  Resolutions, because you could "fail" at those.  Affirmations are statements that are true and factual.  These are mine, in all their concrete glory!

1.  Read my bible every day

2.  Meal plan every week

3.  Move/exercise 5 days per week.  It could be as little as walk 2 miles (the length of my neighborhood), I just have to DO it.

4.  Keep better in contact with my side of the family.  David's family is literally part of our daily lives, ALL THE TIME.  MY side of the family is an every few months sort of thing, and it has to start with somebody (might as well be me).

5.  Hike in my beautiful Smoky Mountains 3 times

6.  Run a 5 K

7.  Drop 2 pants sizes

8.  Earn a raise at work

9.  Be present for my children

10.  Be a better wife to my husband

Here's to a new year!  I'm excited to continue my journey <3

Goals, Shmoals

Well, having a goal means nothing.  Because I am FAT y'all.  I mean, like squeeze like a sausage, FAT.  My arms have become a complete embarrassment.  It's so disheartening I just don't even want to try.  So instead, I'm taking it day by day; and TODAY is the first day of the rest of my life.  I need DAILY accountability; obviously I haven't posted since AUGUST ... just pathetic.  So, I need a daily dose of public reality.  I have several facebook friends that are doing the Keto diet and look AMAZING.  I lasted through ... lunch, I think doing Keto!  Lol, me and low carb just don't get along.  Which is probably why I'm FAT.

Me and my precious boys!

Today I had coffee and cheerios for breakfast.  1% milk, sugar free Coffeemate in my coffee.  Lunch was 8 flatbread crackers (1 serving size) with 4 slices of colby jack cheese, 1 cup of Boom Chicka Pop popcorn, and a Muscle Milk protein drink.  And by slices, I should say squares of hard cheese, not like slices for a sandwich.  I've had around ... 32 oz of water, and I may be able to get some more down before bed.  Dinner was about a filet and a half of fried flounder (fried in Canola oil), half a zuccini, and half a squash cooked with garlic powder and soy sauce. Had 2 more cups of coffee with Carb Master milk and 7 dark chocolate covered pretzels (1 serving size).  Did Cto5K day 1 for the 100th time at the Maryville Greenway, and completed 2.9 miles, 6,656 steps according to my phone app.

FAT, just fat.

I think today has gone well.  I haven't snuck in ANYTHING that I didn't list above; I need to go ahead and put that info into Spark People.  Maybe the public, daily logging of my wins will prompt me to stop sabotaging myself.  Yesterday, my breakfast and lunch were identical to today, but then for dinner I had FIVE sausage/velveeta sliders, a cereal bowl full of Jacked Doritos, and a slice of pecan pie.  Oh, and a Dunkin Donuts iced coffee drink with 230 calories by itself (more calories than the Muscle Milk protein drink).  So started out well, but totally KILLED any positivity in the last 4 hours of my day :(

I just love walking the Greenway; so peaceful!

Fingers crossed I'm ready!  I would LOVE to do Keto, but DAMN it is hard when you're just not that into meat.  I love bacon, but it is a pain in the booty to cook it all the time.  Very time consuming, and the smell permeates the house for hours.  I could live off frozen waffles, bagels, Cheerios, and toast.  Addicted to carbs much?

Elk in the GSM National Park in Cherokee, NC

Finally have a goal

Well, what I'm doing is NOT working.  I definitely haven't lost any weight and may even have gained more.  It's because I'm doing NOTHING.  WHY?????  I guess because I have no goals.  And my husband loves me anyway.

So, tonight I made a goal, chocolate eclipse, once in a lifetime Krispy Kreme donuts be danged.  I bought these cute blue shorts on sale at Bass Pro back when I WAS losing weight.  I never actually was small enough to comfortably wear them, b/c at the time I bought them, I'd started to slowly gain again.  I want to wear those shorts next summer.

Weight does NOT matter to me so long as I'm south of 180.  I'm probably north of that right now, I have no idea b/c I don't own a scale.  Fit of my clothes is how I roll, and my clothes are tight and awkward right now :(

So, I have a pair of jeans that were my "big" size that I held on to even after I lost b/c they were more tightly fitting AND they were a "just in case".  Those are the first pair I have to get into.  Then the ones I'd bought from TSC, then the "big" Apt 9 ones, and finally down into my favorites.  Then down into the blue shorts.

Lets's see how long it takes to fit into my "big" jeans.

I think I'm a few pounds away from these fitting.

Under Control

When you literally can't stand to look at yourself in the mirror FULLY CLOTHED, you know it's time to take control.  It was 5 years ago today almost to the day that I began this blog, chronicling my journey to lose nearly 50 lbs.  I've put every lb and probably then some back on.  This whole having a baby after 35 thing has kicked my a$$.  When I have a free second, literally ALL I want to do is sleep.  Sunday, I took a 3 hour nap.  Makes it EXTREMELY hard to get up and work out.  And working out for me is key.  No, I'm not going to try and out-exercise a bad diet, but I can NOT rely solely on eating alone to lose weight.  I LIKE to eat.  I will NOT low carb/no sugar myself into losing that 50 lbs again.  I didn't do that 5 years ago, and I won't do it this time.  But here's the thing; I HAVE to do something.  I make myself sick to my stomach to look at me.  So TODAY, I started what I did 5 years ago.

I logged all my food into myfitnesspal.com.  Very enlightening!  What I ate yesterday, it theorized I'd gain 5 lbs in 5 weeks.  Wow.  I was almost 1100 calories over my "goal".  What I ate TODAY it said I'd lose 12 lbs in 5 weeks.  Hey, I'll take that!  I also "doubled up" a bit.  I did T-25 this morning; about 1/2 modified and 1/2 not.  When I put the baby to bed, I did Couch to 5k, week one ... again.  My legs felt like lead, but it was a nice, sweaty workout.  My neighborhood is exactly 2 1/4 miles around, so that works out to have a little bit left over to walk once the workout is over.  I can't bring myself to take pics again of the whole sports bra/shorts getup again.  Maybe 6 months in.  For now, I have a cute nightie that I'd like to wear with confidence that looks HORRIBLE on me right now that I'll take the monthly pics with.

I have to quantify my earlier statement about what I won't do with what I WILL do.  I WILL get back to calorie counting and being conscious of portion size.  I've become desensitized to the correct serving size, and have been eating WAY too big of a serving.  Basically, when I go to bed, I feel full.  Today, I've felt somewhat empty all day, which isn't necessarily good for me.  If I'm hungry, that's when I'm more likely to make bad choices and snack on something junky.  I did well and drank my 48 oz bottle of water, and I have 16 more to go before bed; if and when I feel hungry, I will grab the bottle and drink away.  I will do as before, and make lower calorie substitutions, or remove a piece of bread, or do SOMETHING to cut the calorie content of what I'm eating.  But I hate to have a "list" of foods I can or can't eat, and right now my finances won't allow expensive foods low in carbs/sugars, so I have to make do with the 'normal' stuff.  I don't want to take a pill, or wrap up in a majikal wrap that will melt all the fat away.  I don't want to drink a secret shake that will slim me up in no time flat.  I just have to get back to making good, sensible choices that are the proper serving sizes, and STOP eating "dessert" after every meal.  I also have to decide to GET UP and exercise.  Stop hitting the snooze button 6 times, and drag my lazy rumpus out of bed!  Without further ado, here's the yucky pics :(