Starting all over again ... again

I guess I'm going to break down and buy a scale.   I'm too fat to work out, so I'm tired.  Or ... I'm too tired to work out, so I'm fat.  I just have to quit making excuses and get off my fat, disgusting ass and do something about it.  Went to the Dr.  No thyroid issues.  I'm currently at my pregnancy weight; the highest weight I've ever been at.  I'm tipping the scales at a whopping 210 lbs right now.  I'd like to be down to 148 by my birthday.  If I don't start something here, it will NEVER happen.  So, I've GOT to get it together.  I've GOT to get my life together.  My joints are starting to hurt; I'm carrying way too much weight on my frame.  I went through this with Kody too.  It's almost like a VERRRRRRY delayed PPD feeling.  There's a reason Kody was 10 before I managed to get all that baby weight off and then some.

Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life.  Tomorrow  my alarm will be set at 4:00 am just like EVERY day.  Maybe I'll finally get out of bed and exercise.  I want to look like that girl in the pic.

Goals, Shmoals

Well, having a goal means nothing.  Because I am FAT y'all.  I mean, like squeeze like a sausage, FAT.  My arms have become a complete embarrassment.  It's so disheartening I just don't even want to try.  So instead, I'm taking it day by day; and TODAY is the first day of the rest of my life.  I need DAILY accountability; obviously I haven't posted since AUGUST ... just pathetic.  So, I need a daily dose of public reality.  I have several facebook friends that are doing the Keto diet and look AMAZING.  I lasted through ... lunch, I think doing Keto!  Lol, me and low carb just don't get along.  Which is probably why I'm FAT.

Me and my precious boys!

Today I had coffee and cheerios for breakfast.  1% milk, sugar free Coffeemate in my coffee.  Lunch was 8 flatbread crackers (1 serving size) with 4 slices of colby jack cheese, 1 cup of Boom Chicka Pop popcorn, and a Muscle Milk protein drink.  And by slices, I should say squares of hard cheese, not like slices for a sandwich.  I've had around ... 32 oz of water, and I may be able to get some more down before bed.  Dinner was about a filet and a half of fried flounder (fried in Canola oil), half a zuccini, and half a squash cooked with garlic powder and soy sauce. Had 2 more cups of coffee with Carb Master milk and 7 dark chocolate covered pretzels (1 serving size).  Did Cto5K day 1 for the 100th time at the Maryville Greenway, and completed 2.9 miles, 6,656 steps according to my phone app.

FAT, just fat.

I think today has gone well.  I haven't snuck in ANYTHING that I didn't list above; I need to go ahead and put that info into Spark People.  Maybe the public, daily logging of my wins will prompt me to stop sabotaging myself.  Yesterday, my breakfast and lunch were identical to today, but then for dinner I had FIVE sausage/velveeta sliders, a cereal bowl full of Jacked Doritos, and a slice of pecan pie.  Oh, and a Dunkin Donuts iced coffee drink with 230 calories by itself (more calories than the Muscle Milk protein drink).  So started out well, but totally KILLED any positivity in the last 4 hours of my day :(

I just love walking the Greenway; so peaceful!

Fingers crossed I'm ready!  I would LOVE to do Keto, but DAMN it is hard when you're just not that into meat.  I love bacon, but it is a pain in the booty to cook it all the time.  Very time consuming, and the smell permeates the house for hours.  I could live off frozen waffles, bagels, Cheerios, and toast.  Addicted to carbs much?

Elk in the GSM National Park in Cherokee, NC