Wow. 2 years goes by in a flash!

 Wow.  Here I am again ... again.  You'll all be pleased to know I DID drop 30 lbs on WW. Plus working out, of course!  I managed to lose during COVID, and even took my weights and mat with me on a 7 day vacation.  And then I quit giving a damn and gained it all back.  I'm 2.8 lbs under where I was in the last post in 2019.  I can't believe how much I yo yo; how on earth to just stay consistent?  To maintain?  WHY is it so HARD????  I was happy with my 30 lbs down, felt great.  I wasn't buying smaller clothes, but my motorcycle chaps fit so loose I had to tighten the waist belt.  Now?  They're back to how they were.  

Well, AGAIN.  Today is the first day of the rest of my life.  Got 4 more months of living my year 42; this is the HARDEST time in office; specialist offices deliver everything from specialty nuts, to cookies, to Nothing Bundt Cakes, to pies, to "crack" (candy corn and peanuts).  Patients bring us donuts and cookies and lunch.  It's pretty dang hard to say no to that, but learn to say no I must.  WW was awesome, it really helped me to understand how to eat better.  I wasn't able to continue my membership, b/c David lost his job due to COVID and just works at home now.  I'm back to tracking in My Fitness Pal; started today in fact!  All food tracked, goal is just to simply not eat outside of the tracked food, and keep the chili under strict portion control; 1 cup!  Excited to begin again, and STAY on track this time :)

Making it happen

I know it's been awhile.  I've turned to Instagram a bit to make things more simple since I can't update my blog from my phone.  2 weeks ago I finally joined Weight Watchers.  We get a HUGE discount through David's work, and I love the idea of the point system vs. counting straight up calories or figuring up complicated meal combinations.  So far, I haven't had a single "screw it" day.  I've tracked every bite of food, figuring up food values, and logging faithfully into my app.  So far, nothing earth shattering ... 7 pounds.  But hey, it's a start!  And I have not exercised at ALL.  The weather went from cold and snowy to cold and flooding.  There have been VERY few nice days, so after getting through a whole SIX DAYS of couch to 5K, I stopped.  Again.  Then I got sick.  I'm finally well, finally feeling better, and ready to get to it.

This morning after Wednesday Weigh in!  7 lbs down

Today I sweated to T-25 ... it's 4 days to my 40th birthday.  I WILL be "blowing it" a bit that day.  We're going to a car show, then eating at Paula Deen's restaurant.  I WILL eat all the foods, but I will be strict with my portions.

Looking forward to MAYBE wearing a pair of actual shorts this summer?  Maybe?  I haven't bought myself clothes since I had to finally break down and buy some "fat jeans".  Other than that, I've bought motorcycle riding clothes, but I would buy those big anyway.  My "girls" are out of control, I'm ready to have the chest shrink a bit lol!  I love the T-25 Speed 1.0 because it works both arms, cardio, and stretch.  I'm going to do that workout tomorrow and Friday, trying to not modify much by Friday.  I'm still too fat to jump around much ... my target "jumping" weight is 180.  So that's basically 25 pounds.  DANG.  I can't believe I've gained so much, it's disheartening.  My dream weight is back down around 148.  That's a comfortable size 10/ some clothes in an 8.

The best thing WW is doing for me is training me to look for more healthy options.  Today I went to Aldi's to buy our take and bake pizza.  1/8 of the pizza is a serving size.  1/8.  That's barely any food.  It's worth a whopping 10 points.  I get 23 the entire DAY.  But a full cup of 3 cheese tortellini w/ a 1/4 cup of marinara is only 9 points ... and it's more filling.  So I still get my yummy, italian food, just in a different form.  I had a chicken hot dog cut up in a spoon full of chili with a sliced dill pickle and a smidge of mustard and ketchup.  Soooooo good.  No bun.  No chips.  I'm missing dessert every night, but I'm hoping that once I transition over to "maintain" vs. "lose" I get more points lol. 

I finally bought batteries for my food scale.  And I bought a scale.  For the first time in 39 years.  It's sickening to step on it, but I'm tired of burying my head in the sand.  I'm ready to lose again.  I'm ready to be me again.  And I'm bound and determined to do it without trendy packaged foods and mail order products.  I can't TELL you how many of my facebook friends sell IT works, or Shakeology, or 310 shakes, or X ... it's all silly.  Sure, it may work in the short term.  But I can DO this with grocery store food and a little number guidance. 

Thanks for reading. Thanks for supporting me.  I'm excited to reach 10 lbs down, then 20, then 30 ... it's just progress.  It won't be fast, but as long as it's steady, I'm good with it.

Sweaty Selfie for accountability

Starting all over again ... again

I guess I'm going to break down and buy a scale.   I'm too fat to work out, so I'm tired.  Or ... I'm too tired to work out, so I'm fat.  I just have to quit making excuses and get off my fat, disgusting ass and do something about it.  Went to the Dr.  No thyroid issues.  I'm currently at my pregnancy weight; the highest weight I've ever been at.  I'm tipping the scales at a whopping 210 lbs right now.  I'd like to be down to 148 by my birthday.  If I don't start something here, it will NEVER happen.  So, I've GOT to get it together.  I've GOT to get my life together.  My joints are starting to hurt; I'm carrying way too much weight on my frame.  I went through this with Kody too.  It's almost like a VERRRRRRY delayed PPD feeling.  There's a reason Kody was 10 before I managed to get all that baby weight off and then some.

Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life.  Tomorrow  my alarm will be set at 4:00 am just like EVERY day.  Maybe I'll finally get out of bed and exercise.  I want to look like that girl in the pic.

Hump Day Progress ... Week 3

Amazing Monday sunset

Half way through week 3 ... so far, so good!  I've had one day of "cheat" food, really, and 1 out of 13 days so far I've NOT done my exercise.  This past Friday when my alarm went off, I did NOT feel good.  I've been fighting a cold now for about a month, and I just wanted to stay in bed for an extra hour, so I did.  I ate well that day, just didn't push play :(  But hey, Exercise 12 out of 13 days is pretty damn good!!

Crazy light late at night!  And NO, we don't have street lights in our neighborhood.

The progress pics are not discouraging really, as they're more just not ENcouraging.  But I am posting WEEKLY pics, where as last time I posted MONTHLY pics, so of course the progress is going to appear more slowly.  It's just weird; the people I've known with 50+ lbs to lose seem to lose a LOT quickly.  It's like 5 months, BOOM!  60 lbs gone.  I only want to lose around 40, and it just hangs on SO tight and does NOT want to come off.  Of course, how to judge since I don't own a scale?  I was sooooo tempted at Target to buy one b/c they're only $10, but I resisted.  Fit of my clothes, that's my scale.

Monday's sweaty selfie

Planning to run on Saturday.  The snow came in heavy yesterday, and actually caused my work day to be canceled today.  Planning to go in like normal tomorrow.  By Saturday, highs are supposed to be around 50, and on Sunday, highs of 60 ... y'all know what that means!!!  Mufasa and Khaleesi will be on the prowl, lol <3 I have to decide if I'm going to run the Hot Chocolate 5K in Nashville next month; it's the weekend before my birthday.  I WANT to, just not sure I want to go all the way out to Nash.  We'll see.

Tuesday; pulse was UP as I did CARDIO

So, my progress pics show pretty much exactly as expected.  I lose weight FIRST from the LAST place I put it on, which is up around my neck.  My butt and thighs are the last places to finally give it up and shrink.  I wear scrubs every day, and the ones I wear the most are a size too big anyway, so I'm not going to notice any shrinkage there.  I have a few pairs that are the right size, and so far they're not feeling any looser.  Oh well, just got to keep trying and working.  I DID manage real burpees today.  For 2 1/2 weeks, I've been modifying them, and today I felt fit enough to really do them, so that's a for sure win!

Meh.  Still fat.

I'll just keep on keeping on.  Tonight's dinner was healthy, but a little on the starchy side.  I realized I have NO veggies in the house, so we had a baked potato and basmati rice alongside broiled Tilapia tonight.  Tomorrow is ground turkey stroganoff, so nothing with that, just the entree.

Was hoping the fat rolls would be less visible, but nah.

Can't wait to ride this weekend!  Read my horse blog to hear all about it!

TEENY bit less fat in the chin/collar bone area

Hump Day progress ... Week 2

Lunch today

I probably shouldn't keep up with everything like this as far as counting the weeks ... b/c ideally, "this" will continue for eternity.  I HAVE to make a habit and stay with that habit, and if I'm constantly counting, who knows?

Starting the week off right!  Monday sweaty selfie

Anyway, I didn't want to get up this week at ALL. But I did, every day so far.  Now I'm MORE than half way, 3 days down only 2 to go!  I have no idea if there's any "progress" so far.  For me, nothing happens in the first 3 or so weeks it feels like, which is why I quit all the time.  2 HUGE wins for me this week; on Monday, I fixed the baby some Fruit Loops.  I wanted to eat what was left once he was done.  I mean, so badly that my mouth watered.  I didn't touch it, poured it down the disposal.  The 2nd was yesterday and today.  My co worker got a birthday cake; a yummy, chocolate monstrosity from the bakery.  I haven't touched it, not even a lick of icing.  It's just getting through a series of moments until you've gotten through the day, and then you've gotten through the week.  I'm proud.  I'm not calorie restricting like I was 4 years ago, but I'm eating better than I have in 2 years.

Is it Friday yet??

I'm strategically modifying some of T25 this time so I don't hurt myself.  So far, so good.  It felt good Monday to begin NOT so freaking sore.  I will probably be sore tomorrow, but it shouldn't be so bad.  Trying to work as hard as I can so I'm doing myself the most good.  Here's to making it through 2 more days!

Meh.  Don't see much change yet.

HATE fat arms, hope they shrink soon.

Week 2 ... BEGUN!

The beautiful and frozen Bald River Falls

Just a quickie post.  Great weekend, despite the frigid temps!  Saturday we took a drive south to Tellico Plains and the Cheroala Skyway; didn't actually go on the Skyway, but the entrance to Bald River Falls is close by there.  I'd seen a pic of what Bald River Falls looks like right now w/ the freezing weather, and it's AMAZING!

My precious little poot poot!

Once we turned on the road leading to the falls, traffic was the worst we'd ever seen!  Waited in stop and go traffic for about 1/2 an hour, then turned into a pulloff to park and just walk.  Um, stupid me brought my hat and gloves, but FORGOT MY COAT.  Dummy.  The baby had plenty of clothes, but I do think the cold weather has really aggravated his sinuses :(  We oo'd and ahe'd over the falls (just a little half mile walk), then headed back to the warm. 

Very yummy and healthy balsamic chicken!  Turned out great.

Can't WAIT FOR WEDNESDAY!!!!!  Totally going to ride.  Most LIKELY riding to work that morning, then getting David to meet me there so we can head out.  Freezing rain today, 60 and motorcycle weather on Wednesday ... CRAZY!

So excited to ride this week, I feel like a kid waking up on Christmas Day <3

Today I didn't want to get up.  I did it anyway and sweated hard core.  I meal planned this weekend and successfully have my week 2 menu in place.  I love having it all figured out ahead of time, makes life so much easier.  Gives me leftovers for lunch, too!  I have gone to bed "hungry" every night, and after my workout, I'm STARVING.  So, happy that I'm finally exercising a little portion control again.  I don't really feel like any progress has been made yet, but I'm trying and I'm optimistic :)

Just. Push.Play.

Next post :  Humpday progress and hopefully a "rider's high":D

Week 1 ... DONE

So blessed to see the spectacular Smoky Mountain sunrises every day

Wow.  5 days down, only 360 more to go!  It's almost disheartening to think of how truly difficult this week has been, but as most of us knows, it takes a minimum of 30 days to build a habit.  So if I can just get through 25 more days, I should be golden, right??

5 days, 5 different Insanity workouts.  I have worked every single muscle in my body.  Wednesday was the WORST, yesterday I was less sore, but my body felt like an unyielding block of wood, and today was hard b/c I NEED a nice, cushiony mat for my knees.  Regardless, I did do my best!

Went out to eat tonight.  Had mashed sweet potatoes and salad with NO dressing on it, just on the fork.  One roll.  Before I touched one single bite, I cut my chicken in half, and scraped half my sweet potatoes into a takeout box.  I'm currently about 30 minutes post meal, and I don't feel full at ALL.

Thursday's "Lower Body Focus" just about killed me!

I don't feel even the SLIGHTEST bit "smaller", but I do feel like I'm trying.  Guess we'll see what Wednesday's pics look like!  I'll combine yesterday and today's sweaty selfies into one post.  They're not the most flattering pics, but I think they capture the essence I'm looking for :)  Weekly meal plan and grocery shopping tomorrow!

REALLY need a nice thick yoga mat!