Post holiday

Grand Canyon.  Breathtaking!

Well, hope all y'all had a fantastic Christmas!  I have enough gift certificates to buy me some new clothes, so I'm super happy:)  You know, I sure hope 2013 is a better year for me than 2012.  Other than my weight loss success, I feel like I've gone backwards in every other aspect of my life:(  I have less friends, less money, and more responsibility:(  Sigh.  I thought that theoretically what you "put out there" in the Universe will come back to you.  Well ... I honestly try to put positivity out there.  I try to be nice, and kind, and thoughtful, and honest, and ethical, and I try to do things for people.  What do I get back?  See the aforementioned groan.  I feel like I've had a "no good deed goes unpunished" sort of year.

I don't really know what to do about it.  All I can do is pray, reflect, and trust that things go UP from here.  I certainly feel somewhere around the bottom right now, just searching for my ladder.  I will continue to try and put positive energy into the Universe, and shake off these negative nellies.  At the end of the day, I have a fantastic marriage, a fantastic kid, a (few) job(s) that (mostly) pays the bills, we ALL have excellent health (knock on wood), and there's 40 lbs less of me!  Hope everyone has a wonderful New Year's!!  I will for sure be in bed long before midnight:)

Not much happening ...

My cute party dress!

I've had a little bit of a false start, just like last time.  Began tearing it up the first 3 days, then missed the next 3 days due to horse related activities.  I restarted on Monday with Cardio Abs, but on Tuesday I got bitten by a cat on my right thumb, and he HURT me:(  I think that damn cat was trying to rip a chunk out of my hand.  I have 4 deep tiny puncture wounds around the meat of my thumb, and zero range of motion.  It HURTS.  I really felt like I would pass out after he bit me, it hurt THAT bad.  And honestly, I am NOT that much of a wuss, lol!  So I haven't done anything the last 2 days; I'm going to try and cardio abs again tomorrow since there's very little plank work because I definitely can NOT bear any weight on my right hand right now.

Working on a crazy exciting plan!  Can't wait to let everyone in on it, but you all must wait;)  LOTS of planning still to be had, but when it all comes together it will be epic.

Merry Christmas to all!  I will probably blog again before then, but if not hope everyone has an amazing holiday:)  I plan to take OFF 100% Mon-Wed.  Can't wait to just stay HOME!

Going insane again ...

Geez, they're practically maternity pants now!

Whelp, started Insanity again today.  I began with the fit test ... my numbers were pretty close to where I left off, yay:)
Power jacks:  34 first time, 48 today...46
Power knees:  63 first time, 75 today...80
Power jumps:  22 first time, 32 today...30
Switch kicks:  50 first time, 69 today...93
Globe jumps:  7 first time, 9 today...11
Suicide jumps:  11 first time, 11 today...12
Push up jacks:  0 first time, 14 today...12
Low plank obliques:  34 first time, 36 today...40

The ... numbers are my LAST numbers I did after completing the program, so I'm not as far off as I thought I'd be:)  I will be sore tomorrow (but not tragically so).  Just keeping on, keeping on!  My size 10 jeans are getting loose on me, so probably need to swing by Goodwill again and pick up a few pairs in that lovely size 8:)  I'm gathering up some clothes to donate, I am NOT keeping a bunch of "fat clothes" around.  Looking forward to the Christmas break, hoping to have a few days off from cleaning stalls.

Enjoying my family

My favorite tattoo; I think I deserve a new one since I've done so good!!

I love my boys.  I am the luckiest girl in the world to have married my best friend, and birthed the most amazing, cool, smart, outgoing, and amazing (did I already say that?) kid.  My husband REALLY is my best friend.  He is definitely a "lifetime" keeper for sure!  I have a pretty cool boss too.  Her ending remarks for our conversation about the whole "pantsgate" fiasco was, "You know what the moral of this story is?  Never buy the cheap pants!"  Lol.  Lesson learned!

You know, I've been getting a lot of people ask me, "What diet plan are you using?"  Like I've said dozens of times, I'M NOT DIETING!  I quite literally have made a change to my lifestyle.  I eat what I want, when I want!  The biggest thing I've done is changed the WAY I eat.  Instead of plopping massive spoonfulls of food on my plate (HELLO macaroni and cheese!), I weigh out my portions.  Instead of white rice with my dinner, it's brown (or even better, quinoa).  Instead of mayonnaise and butter in my mashed potatoes, it's greek yogurt and milk.  Instead of 2000 calories of fast food Whopper/fries/coke, it's 600 calories of tacos and about 6 sips of coke.  Instead of a massive glass of sweet tea with my dinner, it's a massive glass of water.  Instead of 3 cupcakes and 4 pieces of snack size candy, it's 2 tbs. of m&m's.  See where this is going?  For my lunch, rather than a sandwich with mayonnaise and cheese/3 servings of salt and vinegar chips/a giant hunk of brownie/coke, I have a piece of (frozen) baked tilapia/one serving of instant mashed potatoes/some type of veggie, usually some type of peas since my boys don't eat peas at ALL/a teeny little 2 tbs measuring cup of m&m's/glass of water.  I'll also cook me some low glycemic index angel hair pasta (weighed out as one serving), toss it with 1 tbs of evoo/lemon juice/garlic salt/about 6 salad croutons, crushed.  This is my lunch pretty much every day, either the fish or the pasta.  I don't always do the potatoes with the fish, sometimes I will do peas and some other veggie.

I literally used to cook an ENTIRE box of Kraft mac and cheese ... and eat the whole thing for my lunch.  Those Totino party pizzas?  I'd eat the whole thing for lunch.  THAT'S why I was fat, not because I'm sedentary, but because my eating habits were out of control.  Fast food 4 nights a week ... I'd eat every single BITE of that burger, fries, and drain that 22+ oz sugary soft drink.  Since July, when I began this whole journey I have not eaten a fast food meal like I used to.  When I get my tacos, I do get a full sugar Mtn. Dew, but I sip on it 6 times and dump the rest out of the window.  I have not had McDonalds, Wendy's, Chik fil a, or Capt. D's ... do I miss them?  Sometimes.  My body's a traitor, and it craves that old junk food.  But I don't tempt myself, and just drive on by!

On teaching nights, my dinner consists of whatever I can find in the way of fruit/light yogurt/tortilla chips (weighed out as one serving)/kashi granola bar/kashi "chocolate square".  I will usually snack on the granola bar at some point, and eat the "chocolate square" as my dessert.  As for fruit, I try to keep grapes and bananas around the house; that's normally what I put in my dinner.

For breakfast, I have a bowl of plain Cheerios with a measured out one cup of milk.  I admit to cheating SLIGHTLY, and pour my Cheerios in the one cup measuring cup, but it's over the one cup mark by about 1/4".  I have that EVERY morning.  I no longer eat donuts/poptarts/anything else loaded down with sugar.

Well!  I just wanted to address the fact that I'M NOT DIETING lol.  I have literally changed my life to something that works for ME.  Am I a total and complete foodie that craves brussel sprouts and blueberries?  Um, NO!  But I've made changes that are GOOD for my body and that I can sustain for the rest of my life!  I'm STILL losing weight, and for this entire month I've barely done anything exercise related!

Went 5K distance today, ran for distance, not time.  Took me about 35 minutes, and that includes 5 minutes of warm up/cool down walk.  Monday begins round 2 of Insanity.  Oey!  Not really looking forward to it, but I will be interested to see what I look like at the end!  I'm already fitting in an 8 in jeans (some of them; my darn THIGHS are what hold me back there!)  Will I finish as a 6?  That wasn't even on my RADAR as far as goals go, but at this stage of the game, it seems very possible!

A new ... day ... has ... come! (Celine Dion)

What is the title of this blog?  TODAY is the first day of the rest of my life ... and it is:)  I intend to not waste one second of it sitting around in purgatory, I'm moving on.

Took this month's pics today.  I promised y'all I would NOT take pics of me in my underwear, lol.  However, I think the time has come that my previous "Extreme Makeover:  Weight loss edition" outfit isn't cutting the mustard any more.  Considering that bathing suit season will be upon us in 7 short months, it's time to switch to the bathing suit to make sure that body will be ready to be ogled in a good way, not a "gag me" kind of way;)

I don't own a bikini any more, I do have 2 "tankinis" that I tried on ... and that fell off!  So, here I am in my HS swim suit!  Don't know why in the world I kept it, but I'm glad I did.  Kudos to Speedo, that swim suit is ... 16 years old and still it's original color.

Not gonna lie, I'm pretty darn pleased with what I see:)  I'm actually 100% shocked that I haven't put anything back on in the last 3 weeks, because other than the ONE recovery workout, I haven't put Insanity on the TV at all.  I haven't even run at all this week, all I've done is put bedding in all 12 stalls at once, and rode my boy twice.  Of course, one of those rides was 2 hours long, but STILL!

In news of a slightly more comical nature, I dug through my lingerie drawer for a "real" bra rather than one of my ratty sports bras, found my comfy old standby that I always wear when I'm feeling like a girl and put it on!  Um, haha, it was way too big!  Everywhere.  Straps, cups, and ribs.  Good problem to have!

I got up this morning and blew out the last of my stress from the last few days, and pounded the pavement up to the park I used to ride my horse in when I first got him.  Half an hour, a couple of miles, some good sweat, some nice breathing ... followed by a message on Love?  Sounds like a good day to me!:)

Part 3, the end.

Ok, so you're all up to date on WHAT I DID.  Previously mentioned big horse board.  There's a LOT of people that post on that board.  Many of them are without a filter; it's easy to be brave when you sit behind a computer monitor.  Never in a MILLION years did I think that my story would result in anyone thinking I was stupid, amoral, characterless, or that I needed shame brought upon me ... but that's exactly what happened.  The first post of a thread sets the tone, and the tone was one of disbelief that I had gotten the pants exchanged in a completely ... honest way.  Like I said, I'd posted the Cliff's Notes version of the story that didn't involve so many words as previously mentioned.  The general tone was, "Well, good for you but you probably weren't honest about how/where you got them, the fact that they were used, and you bamboozeled the company".  A few other people commented good for the company, but the overall tone was a negative one.

Enter ex friend.  This person didn't email me, didn't call me, didn't text me, didn't facebook me.  Wait.  She did facebook, it was "Wow.  Just, wow".  That was her status.  I saw THAT before I saw the thread.  9 posts in, she chimes in with "I wonder how much store credit she got.  If they gave her full price, she made out like a bandit".  That was it.  12 posts in, she posts again, saying how she's the original owner of the pants, and had she known she could just send them back, she would have vs. selling them (in a very sarcastic way).      15 posts in, she posts again and says how it seems sneaky, and AGAIN goes in a huge circle wondering how much store credit I got.  It's the 19th post in where she delivers the fatal blow, saying, and I quote, "Or, did she say they were a gift and they give her full retail price for both of them?

Again, like I said, just seems sneaky...I think I am still in shock..."

Ok.  Here's where MY problem comes in.  And where ex friend sees NOTHING wrong with what she did, that it's perfectly ok and normal for a friend to join in on a virtual dead horse beating, repeatedly.  Had she said NOTHING on the thread at all, I pretty much guarantee it would have died.  A few people going "Huh? Wow, company is awesome and you're weird for even THINKING to do that".  I would have calmly provided a few more details, and it would have died and gone away.  

I don't say the words "I love you" very often.  I MEAN it when I say them, and they're reserved for my immediate family and a FEW, VERY FEW close friends.  Ex friend was one I'd said those words to, meaning I thought of her as highly as I do my family.  I would expect a family member that I love NOT to berate me in public, I would expect them to speak privately with me if an issue arose.  I'm not saying close friends shouldn't argue; arguments happen.  Like I said, none of us are perfect.  I don't blame her for the negative response I got on my thread, I did that all on my own.  I blame her for casting doubt upon my character and for calling me sneaky.  All of these things were said on the thread before I even SAW it!  I had NO idea such a negative pile up was occuring, with HER instigating the "amoral character" theme than began to run rampant.

I went STRAIGHT to email, and blasted one off asking her where she got off publicly berating me on an online bulletin board? How did she think that was ok?  I was angry, I was emotional, I was confused.  It's ok for her to be upset with me even though I don't see how, but it's NOT ok for her to continue to pick and post and bump up the thread to the point that it had nearly 3000 views.  SHE was mad at me for "blaming her for the whole thing when it was my own stupid fault", and went back to the thread and posted an additional THIRTEEN TIMES on the thread, continuously bumping it back up, fanning the flames, adding fuel to the fire, playing the victim, bringing my BOSS into it, saying how much she respected my company and hoped that my actions didn't reflect negatively on my place on my place of employment.

THAT is what set me off, THAT is what caused me to unfriend her on facebook, THAT is what caused me to stick the knife in our friendship, it was DONE.  I place NO blame on her for the beginning of the negative tone of the thread, but I DO blame her for inciting people to the point that long time posters were recommending that my boss sever ties with me, and that my unethical behavior reflected poorly on my company.  I posted 5 times in defense of myself, and then I quit.  It was pointless.  People on online bulletin boards DON'T read for comprehension.  I made an error of judgement and went in and edited my 5 posts, deleting them.  I was shocked, felt attacked, and the tone was too defensive.  I was NOT posting on the thread, hoping it would DIE.  I contacted a moderator on the board when the thread was only 2 pages long with less than 100 views, asking them to lock it because I was worried my boss WOULD be brought into it. I changed the title of the thread, hoping it would be harder to find and just go away, but ex friend kept posting and posting and posting on it, pointing fingers at me and how I'd lost her respect and friendship.  At a loss, I posted up an apology, HOPING to end things.  THEN the moderator finally locked it, 5 pages and 3000 views later.  People on the thread were supporting her, telling her how lucky she was she'd found out what a bad friend I was and she agreed with them.

We exchanged a few nasty emails, and it is finished.  Done.  Now, here's where I'm tying all this bull pucky back to my original post.  I tend to immediately think I'm not the one to blame.  But, then I think it through, and very grudgingly admit that ok, maybe I WAS wrong at the end of the day.  Well, I've thought this through.  TRUST ME, I've thought about little else since it went down.  In the nasty emails, I didn't call my ex friend names.  I was passionate about the fact that I blamed her for the thread reaching the point it did, but that I didn't blame her for the initial negative tone.  I blamed her for publicly flogging me rather than quietly sitting by and letting a contentious thread die out with no repercussions.  She called me stupid and low class.  She said I was insane to accept no blame for this situation, and that one day I would come around and see her side (but of course it would be too late).  I don't see how I was wrong at all.  I honestly don't.  In my mind, if you perceive a loved one "doing you wrong", you tell them!  In PRIVATE.  You DON'T become a vulture and pick/pick/pick until the person has no choice but to explode back at you!  But guess what, my explosion was done in PRIVATE.

What is the point of this drama?  There is no point.  I'm sad that I've lost a friend, a loved one.  I keep my horse blog to look back and see how much he's grown in his education.  I'm keeping THIS blog to track my OWN life, my OWN growth.  She said she hopes I have a nice life, and that some day I will realize it's all my fault and she did nothing wrong.  In her words, friends don't always have your back.  I'm hoping that maybe some day she reads this, and has her OWN sense of self discovery, and that maybe she will come to realize that she was indeed in the wrong here.  OR, people that actually KNOW me and CARE about me will read this and gently point out to me WHERE I was wrong, and how I brought this on myself.  I've been feeling the loss keenly up until she called me stupid and low class, and now I'm good with my decision to cut her out of my life.  

A loved one wouldn't do that.  I didn't say anything of the sort to her, I told her that by continuously posting and reviving the thread that she was being a "mean girl".  She said I was stupid and low class and have a nice life.  Well, I will, thank you very much.  It's painful experiences like this one that stretch your faith and shape your personality.  I give thanks to God for the trials in my life, they help me to fully appreciate when things are going well.  ALL things happen for a reason, and this part of my life is over, time to see what else is around the corner.  

Continued ...

Alrighty.  I want to make sure my thoughts stay organized and not scattered.  Here's ... the REST of the story ...

So, this ex friend posts on facebook that she's selling 2 pairs of riding pants that are a brand name of a big horse retail company.  I'd been wanting to try them, so since I thought the size might be right, I purchased them from her for her full asking price.  Now here's the beginning of her issue with me; I should have consulted with her before doing anything with these pants.  Huh?  Why is it I'm supposed to consult her on ANYTHING having to do with these pants?  They don't belong to her anymore!  Do we all agree here?  Ok, good, moving on.

I eagerly try them on and they're WAY too tight in the leg.  Best as I can tell, they fit my butt and waist, but the leg, both calf and thigh are WAY too tight.  I stuff them in a drawer for now because I've been in the process of losing weight and hoped they would fit at a later date.  2 months go by, I pull them out again, and STILL ... the legs just DON'T fit.  The waist is actually LOOSE, but the leg seams were screaming so I toss them back in the drawer feeling befuddled.  At this stage of the game, I do some research on these pants, and my issue is a common one.  In fact, people were riding in the pants, not liking them, and the company was actually taking them back and exchanging them.  It's a great company, they actually care about their customers.

Now, here's where I'm lacking in my moral fiber, I'm someone who tries to "beat the system", and I'm basically the biggest loser on the planet.  I had the gall to CALL the company.  I TOLD them the pants were gently used, I bought them off a friend, I really LIKED the pants and would like to try the next size up.  I told them I completely understood if they couldn't take them back, but I figured the worse they would say is "no".  Well, they said sure, send them back.  I was honest, upfront, and 100% forthcoming about how it came to be that I was in possession of these pants.  I was polite, professional, and seriously doubted they could do anything.  Well, I was shocked and happy when they said sure, send them back.  So I did, they sent me the next size up, and those were just crazy big.  Ridiculous looking.  I called the company ONE more time, told them the dilemma, the sales person said no problem that particular brand of breeches was a bit of a "hard fit" and maybe I needed to try another brand?  So I said could I try this other brand x? And they said sure, then sent them right out.  End of the story is I have a pair of pants that fit perfectly, and I'm crazy happy with the customer service of a "big" company that actually cares about the little people.  I will definitely make future purchases from this company, some of them $$ (we are talking horses here!).

Where I made my mistake, was what I did next.  I was tired of reading all the negative nellie threads on previously mentioned big horse board, so I posted the Cliff's Notes version of how this big horse company took care of me, and how happy I was, and kudos to them, they have yet another customer for life.

So, judge for yourselves!!!  Am I lacking in moral fiber?  Am I an opportunist?  Am I a bad friend for not telling my ex friend what I intended to do with MY pants?  She feels as though I took advantage of her.  How?  HOW did I take advantage of her?  Where in this story does ANYONE see me taking advantage of her?  I don't see it, I really don't.  Supposedly, I blindsided her by A. calling the company in the first place, and B. proceeding to brag about it on horse board.

Story to be continued, I'm sure your ADD has kicked in by now.  This is a LONG story:(

General, assorted stuff

I am human.  I have many issues that I struggle with, as do we all.  I think most often the most difficult person to be honest with is ourselves.  Humans have an amazing ability to twist things up in our minds to make it NOT our fault, in any situation.  As a teenager, I had that problem.  As a more mature adult, I STILL have that problem ... the difference is I now have the ability to analyze, mull it over, and then realize when I am in the wrong more often than not.

Friendships are hard.  My husband has had some struggles recently with losing a couple of friends.  What it came down down is the perception of one person giving, the other being selfish, and a complete lack of TRY to fix a problem.  I know what one of my biggest issues is, and it's a constant work in progress ... a lack of communication.  I have always been content to be alone, so be with my own thoughts and feelings, and I reason things out in my head.  Speaking things out loud is hard for me sometimes, and I'm not good about being that friend that initiates phone calls or get togethers.  I DO like to think I'm there for my friends, though.  Someone to listen, offer up any advice, and give of my time whenever I CAN.

I just lost someone close to me, a 4 year friendship.  I have gone over and over again in my mind, losing sleep in the process, and I can NOT find any fault with myself.  We have had our minor spats over the years because in some ways we're so alike we clash, but it's always worked itself out.  I even called my pastor, sobbing yesterday to ask WHAT is it I'm not seeing?  HOW was I wrong?  Am I a bad person?  Do I have rotten Moral Fiber?  Am I being blind to the situation?  He said absolutely NOT, that if I was being 100% honest with him, I did absolutely nothing wrong whatsoever.  Now, pastors are people too, but I'm inclined to believe him vs. random strangers on the internet.

Which leads me to a general overview of what went down.  Obviously, I maintain an online presence.  I enjoy keeping blogs, I enjoy discussing topics of conversation with people across the country, or even across the globe.  I try not to ever be incendiary, or make myself look stupid ... think before you press "enter" and all that.  I have written QUITE a few blog posts and facebook statuses that I deleted after getting it all out there and re-reading.  One of my favorite sites in a big online horse related bulletin board where horse people post topics of conversation.  I have seen many a crap storm erupt on the board about things that I thought were silly, but usually end up resolved in some way.  I have personally never been involved in such crap storms in any other way than "observer".  I tend to stay out of pile ups unless I'm jumping into the fray to speak up in defense of a poster, which I have done before.  I've done it for someone I didn't know at all, and I've done it for my boss, of all people.  The pile ups can be scary ... it's classic "pack" mentality, where one person makes a negative comment and ALL the "negative nellies" chime in with their words like hot pokers.  It sometimes becomes LITERALLY "kicking the dead horse".

At the moment, I'm leaving you all with this piece of the story to ponder and mull over.  I have to go to work right now, but I will finish this later.  I welcome any honest, thought out comments on what I have posted so far.  I like non heated discussion, it can be a productive thing.  Devil's advocate, and all that.

Slowly getting back on track

My awesome LBD I found at Goodwill!

I've slowly been getting over the crud, thought I'm still not quite 100%.  I ran 3 days this week.  30 minutes around the neighborhood ( not including a 5 min warm up and a 5 min cool down, so really it's 40 minutes worth of exercise).  I steadily get better and better each time I do it!  Today was my 3rd run, and I did my 4 mile trek to the swamp.  I ran 10, walked 2 and completed 4 miles in 46 minutes and change.  Wow!  The track to the swamp is along the back roads and is mostly flat.  It took me 48 minutes and change to run my 5k, so I'm pleased with the improvement!  I keep feeling all paranoid that I'm going to gain weight, but my size 10 jeans are still fitting perfectly and my 14's fall off.  I've never lost any significant amount of weight before, so I'm just unsure how hard it's going to be to maintain.  The only bummer thing about this running thing is my left heel is KILLING me again.  I had NO problems doing Insanity, despite the high impact of it.  My right leg/heel is perfect, but my left heel/calf is super sore.  This was week 2 of doing not much, next week will be two more until I ramp up the Insanity one more time.

STILL sick:(

A rare GA snowfall!  From 2010

As of today, I STILL have a thick, persistent drainage in the back of my throat.  I feel like coughing up a lung, I keep clearing my throat, but at LEAST I don't have feverish body aches or anything (knock on wood).  Again, I feel like this week has been a loss, exercise wise.  Monday I did "cardio recovery", and was sore on Tuesday:)  I was happy for that.  Tuesday-today (Sunday) I've tried to rest and take it easy to hopefully RECOVER from this CRUD.  Today I feel ok, other than the thick drainage, so I decided to head out on a run this evening.  I set my alarm for 30 minutes, and began hitting it at a pretty decent clip (for me, anyway!).  I did roughly half a mile more than my last run about 10 days ago:)  My endurance was perfect, what was hindering me was my knees and a small stitch in my side.  So, I'm up to about 2 1/2 miles in 30 minutes, which I'm proud of!  If I keep at it, I'm sure I can get 3 miles in that time!

I am standing at quite a crossroads right now.  I TRY so HARD to just love my life.  I don't suffer boughts of depression, I never feel sorry for myself, and I work hard to find the positive in every situation.  But ... I'm tired.   I'm ready to actually have time (well, MONEY) to SHOW my OWN horse.  I'm actively trying to make some changes, but of course change is hard.

I'm happy to report I haven't gained any weight in the last 2 weeks with my sad lack of exercise.  I've tried to eat well, and "clean".  I honestly don't have a desire to actually LOSE any more weight.  I'm down in an 8 in a dress size, a 10 in jeans, and I'm VERY happy with how I look in the mirror.  A little more toning is fine with me, but I'm super happy with my body for the first time in forever!  Tomorrow starts a new week, so hopefully this persistent crud will go away and I can get in my 3x a week runs and my 2x a week Insanity.  Not gonna lie, it's nice to know I have 2 whole days off from working out vs. just 1:)  I'm actually pretty lazy by nature!

If y'all can find it in your hearts, prayers for me and family would be much appreciated.  I don't post all over facebook with vague prayer requests because I think it's mostly just a cry out for attention.  I'm actually a pretty private person (believe it or not, lol!), and my relationship with God is hard for me to put into words.  I DO know that He is always in control, and things always happen exactly the way they're supposed to, so prayers for the ability to make good decisions is in order, I guess.  Thanks for reading, and thanks for the support!!!

A bit of a loss ...

Blech.  I feel like this week has been pretty much a total loss:(  I have been sick all week, STILL have sinus drainage making me crazy.  I've had a pretty bad cough, and I pushed through Monday and Tuesday to do my "max" workouts, but Wednesday I just had to take the day off.  I felt TERRIBLE.  Yesterday and today I did 'cardio abs'.  I subscribed to the theory of it's better to do SOMETHING than nothing.  It's only a 16 minute workout, and with the exception of the 4 minute warmup, it's not terribly cardio intensive.  It's counter productive to do an hour long cardio workout when you're hacking up a lung.  Oh well.  At least I reached a goal, despite my "slacking" ... a little black dress in that elusive size 8!  Single digits!!!  Holy moly!!!  I've always fit in smaller sizes "up top" vs. shoving my shapely hips and thighs into smaller pant sizes, and the dress looks simply smashing on me, I must say!:)  I bought it for my friend's wedding on Sunday, can't wait to dress up.

Not planning to do any workouts this weekend because I still need to get well, and I've got a horseshow all day tomorrow, and my friend's wedding 2 hours away on Sunday.  Monday I start my "modified" schedule for 4 weeks ... hopefully I've gotten over this creeping crud by then!  I HATE being sick.

Creeping Crud:(

 

The creeping crud is trying to take over my life, ugh!  I HATE getting sick:(  Been eating grapefruits like crazy and drinking Airborne twice a day.  Hopefully I fend it off for as long as possible.

Got my pics for this month!  Great change:)  I didn't expect such a change on the 30 day pics, but I feel GREAT.  The "max" week is definitely a nice shaping workout.

This is my last week of Insanity.  I plan to take 4 weeks "off", and go back to running 3 days a week.  On the 2 'off' days, I will alternate Insane Abs and one of the 'recovery' workouts.  I will need to go back to entering my calories in SparkPeople so I don't gain any weight over the next month, but I think it will be fine:)  I just want to make sure I don't blow it and balloon back up to my size 14.  The holidays are coming up over the next 2 months, obviously, so I just need to make sure I make smart choices and watch my portion sizes! Without further ado, here's the month's pics!

 

 

 

 

WOW!

Insanity is an incredible program.  Went to visit with some friends the other night, and the only response to me was, "Still losing weight I see."  SO nice to feel this way:)

Saturday, I had to teach extra early and just couldn't dynamite myself out of bed to do my workout.  By the time we got home, it was 11:00 pm.  I ended up deciding to go for a run instead of do the "Core Cardio and Balance" workout.  Decided to run for half an hour straight and see how far I got.

Started to run and didn't stop.  By the end, I'd gone 2 miles, broken a pretty good sweat despite strong winds, and BARELY raised my heart rate.  I was astounded.  I haven't pounded the pavement in almost 8 weeks, and I RAN 30 minutes without any problems whatsoever.  I normally would start to huff halfway up the first hill.  By the third hill, I would be wheezing like a 400lb asthmatic.  Saturday, I literally could have carried on a conversation the ENTIRE time I ran.  I can't believe how much improved my cardio endurance is.  Planning on my next 5k being in January, the "Hot Chocolate" 5k.  I may try to actually run on a little bit this time!

"Weigh in" pics this coming Saturday!  My pants are fitting GREAT, hopefully down that one more size by next month!

Losing weight can be dangerous!

Carpet burn from low plank!

As I knew it would, the soreness has gradually abated.  I'm still definitely feeling like I'm pushing my body harder this week than I have, though, especially coming off "Recovery Week". I love the way Insanity starts slow and builds you up with a nice warm up then stretch.  I have shown a few of the exercises to my hubby and friends, and doing even 1 or 2 "cold" is super hard.  

I am officially "happy".  By that I mean I am absolutely 100% in a size 10 now!  Finally made it to Goodwill, and it's AMAZING the variety in that particular size, lol.  Usually, I'd come away with about 6 pairs of size 14's to try, maybe 4 of those would fit.  I pulled about 12 pairs of jeans to try, and I didn't even go THROUGH the last 2 racks ... my ADD had kicked in and I felt like I had enough to try on.  4 of them were 12's, the rest 10's.  Every pair of 12's were too big.  One pair did fit well in the thigh and butt, but was loose in the waist; I bought them anyway because I liked the cut and color.  I must say, the 10's look smashing on me.  It shows off my "new" curves even more when my jeans aren't hanging off my rear, lol.  It's weird to have pants that FIT again, I'd gotten used to having to strap on a belt.

The great thing is the fact that I've made a LIFESTYLE change.  When I think of stopping for fast food every now and then, I totally avoid "burger" joints.  Taco Bell is the one I go to most often; I get tacos and a Mtn. Dew.  I literally consume 4-6 oz of the "dew", then pour the rest out the window.  Subway is a good alternative, and I've had Arby's once or twice.  I just avoid everywhere else because I know I don't have the self control to go into McD's and NOT get a QP with cheese.  I've been fighting sugar cravings all week because it's 'that' time of the month, and I've done ok.  My big "lightbulb" moment has been in indulging my sweet tooth, but in a SMALL way.  Instead of 6 snack size candy bars, just 2.  Instead of 4 Oreos, just 2.  Instead of 3 scoops of icecream, weigh out the proper serving size.  On that note, weighing out peanut butter for my protein shake!  Going a step further, substituting Peter Pan PB for all natural Almond Butter.  Buying brown rice instead of white.  Buying the pasta with the lower glycemic index.  Eating baked tilapia and black beans for lunch.  It goes on and on ... the best thing is, I CAN keep it up forever.  I don't MISS white rice, or normal pasta, or even the Peter Pan.  I LOVE that baked tilapia, and after eating a full serving of beans or peas, I'm too full to worry about a chip craving or something.  Yay me:)

I will not stop until I have a subtle 6 pack.  Since I've made my size 10 goal, size is now irrelevant.  I want to look like one of those girls doing the videos.  The only way to do that is to keep pushing, keep sweating, and keep eating right!  My journey is far from over, it is going to last the rest of my life!;)

A bruise of unknown origin, and a very painful rub from my half chaps that are now too big and shift around:(

Back to sore ...

A typical dinner for me!

Day 3 of week one of Insanity just about killed me.  I was so sore I was practically in tears wondering how I could ever make it through!  The soreness gradually went away though, leaving me with greater cardio capacity, and feeling much more strong through the movements.

Day 2 of month 2 of Insanity almost killed me!  I am SO sore!  I am FINALLY for the first time doing 'real' pushups instead of 'girly' pushups.  I'm also doing a move called "push up jacks" for the first time ... it's taken me a full month to work up to doing something like 8 'real' ones.  Whew!

Still losing.  It really is getting to the point that my pants just need to be given away.  Note, I said GIVEN AWAY.  NOT "put" away.  I'm NOT keeping around "fat" clothes.  For every smaller pair of jeans I buy, I will get rid of a 'fat' pair.  For the first time ... in 12 years ... I zipped a pair of size 10 pants over my hips:):):) I had ONE random pair of black pants hanging in the 'dormant' closet in a size 10.  Why, I have not idea!  But when I tried them on yesterday, they fit perfect:)  No tightness, no muffin top, success!!  When I go to Goodwill this week I will try on both 10's and 12's and get a sense of what size I actually am.  Since I haven't weighed or measured, I'm not really sure where I am!  All I DO know is the 12's I just bought are big and baggy already, and the 10's I have in my closet fit:)

New wardrobe?

While the process of buying new clothes is FUN ... it also costs $$!  Bummer;)  Goodwill, here I come!  Bought my first pair of size down jeans the other day; they're not exactly tight.  In fact, I seriously think in the next 30 days they will hanging off me like my size 14's.  Good thing they were on sale!

Sucks when your favorite belt becomes too big

Picture day!

Well, this months pics are interesting.  I'm contemplating buying a pair of bikini bottoms ( I have 2 pairs, but they have attached skirts, which defeats the purpose!) to start taking pics in.  I initially chose the black shorts because they're the shortest I own (and 1 of only 3 pairs I own!), and therefore the most 'revealing'.  I'm finding by looking at the pics though, that they're really not as revealing as I thought!

Starting to see a little definition!

Over the last 30 days, I have lost a lot of fat in my lower belly, under my belly button.  In my panties, it's FLAT from the belly button down, which is UNHEARD of for me!  Also, my "girls" have shrunk significantly (this is actually a YAY from me).  The pics don't show as MUCH of a change as I thought they'd show, but I do realize it takes time for skin to tone up after you've lost weight.  My brother had a VERY flabby stomach for several years before he started doing Insanity from all the weight he lost running.  He has a 6 pack now, but it's taken him 2 or so years to get that.  My arms are also showing definition for the first time in a LONG time; still a ways to go, but happy for the changes I DO see:)  Just for fun, comparing alongside the pics from day ONE, beginning of July.

The biggest thing you can really see in the new pics is how different my shorts look.  In the back pic, my shorts keep sitting lower and lower on my hips.  Also, in the front facing pics, look how my arms don't stick out from my body any more.  Not only are my 'girls' smaller, they're a nicer shape now too I think;)  I think the side pic really illustrates how much my jaw line has changed.  From fat and muttony to actually defined:)  It also shows how much my butt has shrunk, I think:)

This upcoming week is "Recovery", and then I hit it extra hard with "max interval" everything for the remaining 4 weeks after.  More pics in 30 days!

Work OUT!

So, here's what I have to say ...

NO EXCUSES!
There's ALWAYS someone out there more busy and more sleepy than you are.  WORK OUT!
JUST WORKOUT!
And again ... NO EXCUSES!

I totally enjoy this ... chain of motivation I'm seeing.  For all of us, there must be some driving force inside of us to push.  Push to get more fit, and exercise will power to eat right.  But there can be external motivational factors as well.  "Well, if SHE can do it ... "

That's kind of how I started.  My brother lost well over 100 lbs by changing the way he eats and by exercising.  My MIL and SIL together have gone on Weight Watchers again, and lost in the neighborhood of 30 lbs.  They both got up around 5 something and did floor exercises and lightweight dumbbell moves.  My sister went vegan.  From meat eating carnivore to VEGAN!!!  My aunt and uncle went vegetarian and started running marathons.  Motivation is ALL around us if you look.  When you're ready, you WILL make a lifestyle change.  We ALL can!

Now people are telling me I'm their motivation.  That makes me feel SO good.  I'm proud to be "that" girl, "Well, if SHE can do it ... "

See that sweat?  It's a necessary evil!  KEEP SWEATING!

My muscles are no longer sore from doing Insanity.  I can totally tell I'm working my butt off (literally), but the nagging soreness is gone.  I push myself hard each day to do as many of the exercises as I can.  The warm up on 3 of the videos are about 3 1/2 minutes of jumps, jogging, zigging and zagging.  You repeat that 3 1/2 minute set 3 times with no break, getting faster and faster each time.  By the time you're done with that, you're dripping.  I keep stopping during the FIRST set to breathe and calm my racing heart.  Yesterday, I made it ALL the way through 2 rotations before stopping to catch my gasping breath:)  Progress!

Next week is the "Recovery Week", then following that is 4 weeks of "Max Interval" everything.  Oh boy!  I'm pretty much at the point where I am going to have to go buy some new clothes.  My hanging jeans are bordering on ridiculous:)

Can't wait for Saturday's big reveal!  I'm starting to feel some abs under that layer of fat!  SO EXCITED for that fat to melt away permanently to reveal those all new muscles:)  Stay tuned, I think y'all will be pleased for me!

More and more changes:)

I love shrinking.  It's much better than GROWING!  Of course, growing emotionally or spiritually is good, but physically?  Not so much!  I'm STILL surprised by how loose all my clothes are.  I've been the same size for SO long, I hesitate putting on certain pairs of jeans because I know they're going to be tight ... only they're not!  I got a hair cut, and every single person that's seen it has been extremely complimentary and had nothing but nice things to say:)  I just feel very sassy and alive!  Glad to be making positive changes, and looking forward to actually having REAL abs and arm muscles.  I've had legs before ... they're always bigger than most other women my size, but they've been firm.  I've never had abs before!  I can't wait to see them take shape.

Check out this pic:

Now check out this one:

The first one was back in March.  The one above is today:)  I haven't been able to wear this shirt since I bought it.  I bought it un-tried on and figured it was a L, therefore it would fit.  Um, NO!  It was too tight everywhere; I could barely squeeze my arms into it.  Today?  I wore it.  All day:)  My boots fit SO much better!  I zipped them up with barely a tug, whereas back in May, I had to use hay string to thread through the zipper to pull them up.  

Feels good!  Keeping things going.  Insanity is kicking my butt this week; 3rd week in a row, and on my "day of rest" I decided walking 4 miles with my SIL was a good idea.  Quite frankly, my legs are sore and it's tough to push through, but I'm DOING it:)

C e l e b r a t i o n

You know that song?  "Celebration ... Let's all celebrate and have a good time!"

That's the song that was going through my head today as I slipped on the shorts I've tried on about half a dozen times since June ... and I FINALLY wore them!  They're a 12 ... but they're definitely not a generous 12!  I have been able to physically button them now for about a month or so, but HUGE puffy muffin top.  Today, they fit perfectly comfortably with no visible protrusion on the top:):):)  ALL of my friends can tell you that in the many years they've known me, they've NEVER seen me in a pair of real shorts.  It's capris, always.  My fat lumpy thighs embarrass me, so even if I wear a skirt or dress I make sure it comes down to just below the knees at the shortest.

Today, I wore those shorts with no embarrassment whatsoever.  There is still lumpiness in the thighs, but it is MUCH reduced ... another round of running (increasing from where I left off), plus another round of Insanity will turn that fat to muscle, sure enough.  I'm not ready to prance around in a bathing suit yet, but June 2013?  Watch out!

I am getting SO much stronger.  I can do many of the exercise sets from the Insanity program without stopping now.  I haven't made it through "Pure Cardio" with no breaks yet, but I'm getting better.  My boss was complimenting my weight loss and asking how much I've lost.  I honestly have no idea, and don't really want to know yet.  I'll be honest ... my starting weight was 190.  That was what the scale said when I went for my gyn appt. back in November, and I'm pretty sure I maintained that until June when I began to change my lifestyle.  My boss thinks around 15 lbs.  That would put me at 175.  My book keeper thinks more like 20 ... that puts me at 170.  I'll be honest, for the amount of work I've put into it, I would HOPE I'm more like 160-165, but I don't know.  I'm for SURE down a full size ... if I were to go jean shopping, I would be shopping in the 12's.  Only one more size to go before I'm truly HAPPY ... 2 more sizes will REALLY make me happy:)

I'll be honest, I need to sugar detox a little bit again.  I've been controlling my calories like a I have been, but I've been having some sort of refined sugar dessert every night.  I need to cut those down to once or twice a week for right now, then cut it out even further.  A moment of proud realization?  Since June, I have consumed exactly ONE fast food burger.  I had a whopper jr. with no mayo and no cheese back in August. No fries;  I don't think I had any sort of side with it at all.  Pretty good considering during a "normal week", I'd do McDonalds/Wendys/Burger King/Zaxbys.  And that's a QP meal at McD's, a whopper meal at BK, a Bacon Deluxe meal at Wendys, and a fried chicken finger meal at Zaxby's ... ALWAYS with either a Coke or a sweet tea.  My eating habits have come a LONG way!

Positive progress!  Always a good thing:)

Getting FIT!:)

I feel so amazing.  I WAS feeling a little bit like a loser last week because I did my Insanity Tues-Thurs like a good girl, but on Friday I was stuck on the xc course for TWELVE hours.  I was not expecting that at all.  I knew there were a lot of horses to get through the course, but 12 hours worth??  So I didn't leave the horse show until 7:30 at night, and didn't make it home until 9:00 and I was FRIED.  There was not a single lick of shade on the entire course and despite copious amounts of sunscreen, I was as red as a lobster and pretty dehydrated.  Needless to say I did not do my workout.

Saturday and Sunday, I couldn't get the job done because my husband was parked in front of the tv ... I couldn't do my video.  I suppose I could have gotten out and run but it took the weekend for me to recover from Friday ... AND I went back up to the show on Sat and didn't get home again until around 8pm.    By Sunday night I was feeling like a total slacker.

Monday afternoon I started anew with the workout all over again minus the "fit test".  I was SO much better at it!  I sweated like crazy, guzzled water like a woman dying of thirst, and tightened the drawstring of my pants WAY up because they kept falling down:)  So today was the "recovery" day, and it was absolutely marvelous.  Very yoga in nature.  I'm slightly sore today, but NOTHING like last week's barely able to move stuff.  I'm always at war with myself about WANTING to start that video up, but when I'm done ... I feel amazing.  Exhausted, shaky almost, but wonderful.

I will have the weekend off from Insanity, and then next week it's back to 6 days a week.  Whew!  Tried on a cute dress I got about 12 years ago that has FIT me the entire time for the most part, but it's been super tight, which is highly unattractive.  I slipped it over my head today just to see, and it was loose and flattering:)  The best part?  It's a size 11!  And no, it's NOT elastic;)

Looking forward to the "weigh in" again!  I am just curious to see the Insanity results vs strictly running results.  I think I'm going to be happy!

Insane ...

Holy Crap.  I thought I was sore after the first time I ever took a "Body Pump" class.  Insanity is just ... INSANE!  Today I got up and did the 3rd day in a row, 2nd "real" workout.  It was one of the hardest things I've ever done.  I was SO sore this morning getting up ... to do it again at that intense cardio level.  Wow.  I was DRAGGING at the barn cleaning stalls, I am sore everywhere.  If I don't look like "Xena, Warrior Princess" after the next 60 days ... I will be crushed lol!  My body is definitely rebelling at being pushed to get smaller; it LIKES to be a size 14.  But I WILL prevail, and I WILL be in an 8!  Tomorrow's workout is called "Cardio Recovery", so hopefully it's more anaerobic vs. pure cardio.  I need a day to recover before pushing it hard for the final 2 intense workouts of the week.

I allowed myself to eat a little more than yesterday.  Yesterday I consumed cereal for breakfast, cereal for lunch, and my usual "late night" dinner of sliced ham with the soft cheese and yogurt.  I just had no appetite.  Today though, I was starving as I made my Wal-Mart run, so I got a footlong Subway sandwhich on wheat with ham, lettuce, tomato, and spicy mustard.  I ate one half of it, and half of the other half, then I got full!

Just keeping on, keeping on.  I've gotten to the point that my clients are giving me that 'look', and asking if I've lost weight.  When I confirm, yes I have then they say, "Oh yeah, you've lost a LOT!".  It will be more obvious when I go out and buy some new clothes because right now my shirts hang off me, and my jeans are held up by belts.  It's nice to put on pants that used to fit tight and now fit so loose they hang off my hips!  Helps me keep my motivation:)

Post race wrap up

I had so much fun at the race.  My childhood friend came and ran with me the WHOLE time.  When the airhorn went off, we waited for all the fast people to take off, but waited a hair too long and got a little tangled up in the walkers.  Settled into a nice rhythm though, and chatted the entire time.  In no time at all, the finish line loomed ahead and I was SHOCKED!  We sprinted through the finish line, and it was over:)  I did not walk a single step!  I did not feel the urge, even.  Yes I sweated, yes I breathed a little hard, but I was able to talk the entire time.  The course was nice and level with a slight uphill finish, but I would love to do the same one next year; it was great!

I need to pick another one so I continue to run!  I'm trying to figure out my next steps.  Stay on a running plan, or do Insanity hardcore for the next 60 days?  Insanity is 6 days a week, which means I would really need to take a running break for 60 days.  OR, should I continue to run 3 days a week, but add on 2 days of Insanity?  Agh!  I don't know!  I DO know I need to do some strength training, so I'm leaning towards taking a 60 day running break and doing Insanity.

Here's the 60 day pics.  I feel like I've lost a lot of inches in my hips/thighs, but you can't see that too clearly in those black shorts.  I am NOT posting pics of me in my underwear though, so y'all will just have to take my word for it;)  Comparing to the pics from 30 days ago.

 












You can see in the pic on the right my butt is a little more flat.  Also, the top of my thigh doesn't hang over so much.  Stomach is SLIGHTLY flatter, but still needs a lot of work.

Pic on the right, you can see my gut isn't flopped over my belly button so much, and my shorts appear slightly longer because my rear isn't so wide:)

Fat rolls on the left, reduced fat rolls on the right, 'nuff said!  So ... guess it's time to see what kind of results are produced by Insanity.  Excited to have completed my 5k, excited to do something new, excited to run ANOTHER 5k in the not too distant future!

Only 1 day left!!

Just have to get through tomorrow, then it's 5k day!  Very excited:)  I know for a fact I won't win ANYTHING, but I'm hoping to at least not take a walk break.  I've held up my end of the deal and ran my 25 minutes all 3 days so far this week; I ran at 6:00 Mon and Tues and 9:00 last night.  The interesting thing is I always start running in exactly the same spot; Tues was the shortest distance I managed to run.  I was about 500 ft. short of where I ended on Monday, but YESTERDAY I went about 1500 ft farther than I did on Monday.  I am able to keep on pushing it a little harder when I do my late evening runs; it's just so much easier for me.  I have adopted the K.I.S.S. strategy; Keep it Slow, Stupid.  When I don't do well on a run typically it's because I started out too quickly, pace wise.

I'm mildly stressing about my calorie count a little bit.  I'm worried I'm over estimating the "calories burned" on Sparkpeople.  I work 3 hours 5 days a week cleaning stalls.  It IS hard, physical labor.  I'm cleaning, hefting 40 lb bags of bedding, and dumping 24 5 gallon water buckets, most of which are FULL.  But I'm also USED to it.  When I upped my working days just over a year ago, I dropped some weight pretty good without changing much about my eating.  I made a half-hearted attempt to cut calories some, but wasn't very dilligent about it.  Within 6 months, I'd packed back on every lb I'd lost and then some because my body just adjusted to the extra work.  Spark People insists I need to be consuming between 2150 and 2400 calories per day; I disagree!  I think I was around 2500 on the average before cutting them down, and all I was doing was GAINING weight.  Normally, I'm around 1400-1700 per day, sometimes a little more, but I haven't gone over 2k calories at ALL since starting this whole journey.  Yesterday I accidentally ingested a little under 800 calories for the whole day.  I KNOW that's bad, but I'm just so paranoid about eating too much! My body can handle quite a lot of exercise without losing one single inch, so I know the key is to keep those calories DOWN.

Will run tonight and soak my foot tomorrow.  5k is at 7:30 Saturday morning and it will be about an hour drive out there, so I will report back on Sunday with the all new "weigh in" pics:)

Amazing what a difference a week makes

Fun hike with my little dog!

It was a week ago that I had to do my first run with NO walk break; 20 minutes.  It was SO. HARD.  I almost walked a dozen times, but I pushed through and ran the whole time.  My neighborhood is both killer and forgiving.  4 uphill climbs, but also 4 downhill dips.  Those downhill dips are ALMOST as good as a walk break:)

Saturday I pushed it extra hard (AND I rode the lazy horse earlier that day) and did 6 miles.  It was the first time I've ever gone 6 miles straight.  I've done a 5.3 mile hike before, but that was 4 years ago!  I actually mapped out 3 miles down the road from my house, and set off at an easy jog.  My Cto5K called for a 22 minute run with no walk breaks, so I focused on my music and my breathing and tried to ignore the fact that it was 3:00 in the afternoon in 90 degree heat in the full on blazing sun.  I made it.  It was probably around a mile and 3/4, don't think I made it past 2 miles, but I also didn't realize how much the road sloped upward ... with no downhill dips!  At 22 minutes, I walked, breathing so hard I felt a little light-headed.  Kept walking at a nice forward clip until I hit the 3 mile mark, then turned around.  Upon turning around, I decided to run another 8 minutes, for an even 30.  My legs felt pretty tired, but I had walked for about 10 minutes so I felt recovered enough to push through and do it.  I did it!  Ran 30 minutes, completed 6 miles, all in the blazing heat of the afternoon.

Surprisingly, Sunday I felt fine.  Not sore or anything:)  I had planned to take the day off so as not to overdo anything and hurt myself before the 5k, but I ended up taking my chihuahua to a local hiking trail called Pine Top Mountain, and hiked a nice 2 1/2 mile trek.  I don't care WHO you are, PTM is a nice little workout.  It felt great, I totally enjoyed the nice shady trail.

This morning, I pried my butt out of bed at 5:45, drank 8 oz of my coffee smoothie to get some calories in me, and set off on the 2nd to last week of Cto5k.  Run 25 minutes with no walk break.  And I did!  And unlike my first experience with running the entire time, I did NOT sound like an asthamatic about to keel over and die:)  I kept my breathing nice and easy, my legs kept moving without feeling like lead, and squeezed those butt cheeks as I crested the hills.  The downhills gave me plenty of recovery time, and I felt like I had some gas left in the tank when I finished.  Doing the same tomorrow, Wed, and Thurs then giving myself Friday as a break to recover since I'm skipping basically 2 weeks of the program to go straight to the 5k.

I'm beginning to feel anxious if I don't get that cardio burn.  I'm so encouraged by the loose clothes, I do NOT want to backslide and sabotage myself (for the umpteenth time).  I've still got a long way to go, TWO more pant sizes.  And technically, even though my size 12 shorts fit, and my size 13 jeans fit, I would NOT go to the store and buy a 12 yet.  ALMOST, but not quite.  I'm getting there, though, one run at the time:)

BTW, the soaking in epsom salt REALLY helped my left heel.  It's still very sore, but not near to the extent it was, so I will be doing that again soon, for sure.

Feeling good, good, good!

Booty looks pretty good, huh?;)

Getting there ...

Not tight or squeezing anywhere:)

Just out of sheer curiosity, I tried on a pair of Cruel Girl jeans I'd bought 2 years ago during my last "real" 'skinny' time.  They're a size 13, and my butt looked awesome in them, so I bought them despite the NO STRETCH AT ALL denim being just a teeny bit snug.  I've worn them probably 4 times total because I finally just grew out of them.  Last time I tried them on, I couldn't even pull them up all the way over my rear end.

Yesterday, they pulled up easy and perfect, buttoned up no problem, and once I got them ON ... they were a little loose!  They've NEVER been loose:)  I'm so excited:)

I also was very proud of my little Publix shopping trip.  For once in my life, there was NOTHING in my shopping cart that caused me to be embarrassed.  Romaine lettuce, bananas, strawberries, Bolthouse Farms smoothie, fresh pears, and a gallon of milk.  GO ME:)

This morning I awakened early and set out on my 2nd of 3 runs this week.  I put a little fuel in the tank by drinking 8 oz of a Bolthouse Farms smoothie (The Perfectly Protein Mocha).  My left heel has been bothering me for quite some time now.  When I've been sitting after working all day, I am literally crippled for a few minutes until it warms back up.  This is what makes my runs difficult sometimes.  I tried icing it last night, but that actually made it go crazy and the whole of my left foot started to THROB.  It was really weird, it hurt like crazy:(  So for tonight, I got some epsom salt that I plan to put in some nice warm water and soak that foot in the warm salt water and see if that's any better.

I had a single filet of grilled Tilapia and a salad for dinner tonight, and it was round 2 of making my own homemade balsamic vinaigerette.  I did much better this time!  I used 1 1/2 tbsp of dijon mustard, 1tbsp of honey, a small pinch of minced garlic, a tbsp of balsamic vinegar, and 3 tbsp of olive oil.  It tasted divine on my salad!  I ditched the iceberg lettuce and went with romaine, and put on simply a few cherry tomatoes, some crumbled feta cheese, honey roasted almond slivers, croutons, and one slice of crumbled bacon.  The toppings were just a pinch, not even an actual half a serving of anything.  For dessert I will have a 1/4 c of sunflower seeds just to keep my protein levels up.  After inputting my information into SparkPeople.com, I've been consistently low on protein and carbs.  It's a cool website!

Feeling good!  Changing my lifestyle is working out for me so far:)