18 weeks and counting

IT's funny.  When I was pregnant with Kody, I was almost afraid to be pregnant.  I did not buy ANYTHING for him until I was around 30 weeks along, and even then, it was just a Mickey receiving blanket from the Disney Store.  I was so fortunate that I had several showers from my parents/inlaws/barn/friend, and received literally EVERYTHING I needed for him.  This time, I'm not counting on getting ANYTHING from anyone; I'm planning to get everything I need myself.  This necessitates planning early, and buying when I can!

Already, I've amassed a few hundred diapers in a size 1, and I'm starting on the size 2's.  I LOVE Pampers because they just smell so divine, so on approximately every third Target trip, I pick up a box.  We picked up a Graco Pack n' Play a few weeks ago since we only have a 2 BR, baby will be in our room until we move (about 3 months).  Today, I  got my beloved rocking chair!  I LOVED my glider that I had when Kody was born, but once he got  bigger/older, we just sort of shoved it out of the way in our bedroom.  About a year before we moved out of GA, we let a pastor borrow it for his church, and when we asked for it back, we got the runaround and never got it back :(  So when I found out I was pregnant, I immediately began nagging to get another one.

David's shopping for Broncos team wear.  OH!  Yeah, right, we found out the gender today ;)  Colton Maverick will be making his appearance some time the last week of March/first week of April.   Kody's happy he gets a brother, and I'm happy because I know boys.  I know what to expect; I'm THRILLED to be having another boy; I was genuinely afraid that if it was a girl I'd feel a little bit of disappointment.  Fortunately, I don't have to find that out!

Got the usual array of tests to have done soon; the glucose test in 2 weeks, the "official, big" ultrasound in 2 weeks ... I opted against the battery of genetic testing that UC Davis feels is necessary for women 35+.  I'm 36, not 46; it's not like I'm an ancient relic having a baby.  Excited to move ahead, excited to see my sister when she gets to come and visit/be my doula, excited to have 8 weeks off from work, lol.  I'll continue the updates as they happen!

PS, if you ever get the opportunity to watch a sunrise over Lake Tahoe, TAKE IT!  We got up at 3 am on Saturday to take pics and watch the amazing beauty of the sun coming up behind the Sierras.  It was so breathtaking, AND we saw a WOLF!  It was like totally unreal.  Wish we'd been able to snap a pic of it.  Next time we'll have the camera out and waiting :)

Of Pregnancy and staying active

SWEAT!

Well.  I must start by saying I feel really good!  Ever since my 1st adjustment at my new chiro 2 weeks ago, I have been headache free for the most part!  (barring waking up with one 2 days b/c I slept too hard)  I don't go again until after my next OB appt (which is when we find out the gender!!), so hopefully everything "holds".

I've been fighting the lazy pregnancy bug.  I KNOW my body is sucking up excess energy making a baby, but I'm feeling so FAT.  Not pregnant, FAT.  It's actually yanking me down in the dumps, so I finally decided to do something about it.

First off, let me say THANK YOU to the amazing Shaun T for developing an exercise routine a preggo woman can do and not feel like she's overdoing it.  I attempted T25 before and actually hurt myself enough that I never did it again.  This time, I'm following the amazing Tania "The Machine" as she is doing 'modifier' exercises since she's recovering from having a baby.  Trust me, those are killer enough for someone that's been lazy for about 2 months!  And as the baby grows, I'll only get more tired, so the T25 modifier will be PLENTY for the next who know how long.  I've tried walking my usual 3 mile track a few times, and I actually have been experiencing a fair amount of hip/back pain afterwards.  I don't have access to a nice gravel track anywhere, and I think the concrete is just hard on my body even though I'm not running.  I cut it down to 2 miles on Monday, and I still felt it!  Worked out with Shaun T yesterday and today and experienced something cool; I woke up with a headache this morning b/c I slept too hard.  Drank a little water, put my workout clothes on, and hit the living room floor.  Now?  Headache gone and I've just got that nice small "burn" in my muscles that tell me I worked them nicely.

I'm listening to my body (and baby!), and definitely not overdoing anything.  No jumping whatsoever.  I'm going to WORK to stay on track and keep getting up and "pushing play" every morning.  I feel better when I do it, NO excuses!

In other news, my new menu thing is awesome!  I just came up w/ my one for this week, and it's been a fun challenge to find recipes that use something OTHER than chicken.  It's amazing how virtually all the "Fall" recipes are chicken this and chicken that.  I'm branching out and trying a few new recipes this week, so hopefully all goes well!  Not much happening this week, just working (Saturday too, boo!).  No church for us because the one we found this past week is actually shut down this weekend for a whole weekend of "community service".  We'll go back next week and see how it goes!

Later, y'all.  Hope the rest of your week is great!  Love and kisses :D

Recipe musings and a little more

Life is marching on.  I'm SO thankful for the sequence of events that helped me to find a new chiropractor.  I had the BEST chiro out in GA (Essential Healing Chiropractic in Woodstock), and when I moved out here to Cali I waited for a long time before I decided to seek out a new one.  Don't get me wrong, he's probably good for a LOT of people, but I was just finding myself still experiencing a fair amount of pain even after adjustments.

A few weekends ago, we were at a car show and there was a booth set up in the trade fair portion.  I stopped in and spoke to the doctor and asked whether she deals with applied kinesiology and she said she does.  SOLD!  I went last week for chronic, constant headaches I'd been having for about 6 weeks (and DESPITE an adjustment w/ the other chiro).  This is NOT a good thing to have happening when ALL you can take for said headaches is Tylenol which does NOTHING!  One adjustment, fixed.  Went for a follow up today and got my first ever massage before my adjustment and it was divine!  They combine chiro and massage for optimum results and I give it 2 thumbs up :)  Twin Creeks Chiropractic in Roseville is AMAZING!

On to the food portion!  I've been scouring Pinterest as usual and tried a few more new recipes.  ALL wins :)  I made a Shepherd's Pie, and last night fixed up a pork roast to make pulled pork sandwiches.  I've found an interesting guide to help w/ weekly food choices; hubs often complains about "chicken AGAIN?"

So now it's chicken/pork/beef/pasta/veggie/seafood each night and after 1 week the menu was a hit!  Makes it imperative to plan for the weekly shopping trip, but it's better when you do that anyway.  That article I read was actually touting monthly shopping trips for groceries, but I just don't have the storage capacity (apartment) to handle that much food at once.  So, I'll just utilize what pertains to me and move on!

Feeling good, no sickness knock on wood.  Next appt is Nov when we find out whether boy/girl.  I don't care either way, I just want HEALTHY.

Just ... wow

I'm not even sure I know where to begin.  This crazy journey called Life is progressing on a track I'm not sure I ever saw coming.  For the most part, I have stopped living my life through facebook and other social media sites.  Losing 2 of my best friends over a stupid internet spat made me realize that REALITY is not always virtual.  So not only do I not post on the horse board that got me in trouble, I really don't even go there to "lurk" much any more.  The down side is that I've disconnected from the horse side of things ... for now.  The up side is that I've been focusing on other things.  Apart from posting "day trip" pics on Instagram and then sharing to facebook, I don't do much other than read what my "friends" have to say on a daily basis.

The bottom line is this; life is changing BIG time for us, again :)  And yes, it's a good change, it's an AMAZING change!  I didn't think for a second that life would go in this direction, but it is what it is.  For one thing, some months ago, my husband and I made a decision to stop birth control.  I just turned 36 in February, and here I was still taking BC pills every day.  I HATE the pill, I don't ever want to take it again, but ANY other method of BC other than "permanent" isn't an option for me.  So, the question was, have a permanent procedure, or stop the Pill and see what happens?  Well, we chose the latter and now I'm expecting!

I don't question God, EVER.  His plan is what it is, I just try to have the courage to follow along and be involved in it.  My due date is April 6.  Only 12 weeks along, so no idea if girl or boy.  We WILL find out, for sure.  Kody and David are both happy and excited; yes, there's a feeling of being ... overwhelmed.  That combined with the task of moving in July with a NEWBORN is a daunting feeling, but I know we'll come through it with flying colors :D

There will be no grand facebook announcements, no ultrasound pics posted, no pics/updates from the hospital.  Anything I have to say, I'll say right here on my very own blog that only the people that are interested in what I have to say will check out.  Yes, I'll post links, but again ... only those that actually care about me and my family will share in my happy news.

Horses will once again be taking a backseat in my life and I am ok with that.  No matter where I am, no matter what's happening in my life, horses will always be there for me to get back to when I'm ready.  Happily, I've been feeling great, no morning sickness thus far (knock on wood).  My OB says I SHOULD be past that stage, so we'll see.  It's going to be a challenge being out here with no family, but I'm VERY hopeful my sister is going to come out and be with me for a week or so.  The only bummer is I won't get to enjoy the hot tub this winter!  :(  Oh well, there are worse things in life, lol.

Stay tuned for updates.  I don't have another OB appt until November, which is when we SHOULD find out the sex.  So happy and excited for this turn in our life, and we're just trusting in God to lead us along the way.

Just plugging along

I have no intention of joining a gym.  The money I'm spending doesn't motivate me to show up.  I paid for a gym for 3 years ... for the first 6 months, I went about twice a week.  The 2nd 6 months, about once a week.  The next year, about once a month.  The final year ... maybe 6 times total.  It's just a matter of DOING it.  I have workouts ... Piyo, Insanity, T25, and good 'ol jogging right outside my apartment; all I have to do is get UP and WORK.  Today, I did it.  Sweated my butt off, ate a yummy lunch pretty much identical to the one pictured in the last blog post, and came home and had some AMAZING home made broccoli beef and orange chicken.  On Saturday, not only were there GIANT donuts from one of our hygienists, one of the DA's went to McD's and bought everyone a chicken sandwich.  I said thanks but no thanks and enjoyed my same lunch I had today :D
Yesterday was a bit of a "cheat" day.  Had some amazing home made ice cream (only 1 scoop) in a waffle cone.  I enjoy food.  I enjoy trying out new places for treats.  It's all about the portion control, and the NOT eating it every DAY that's important.  Tomorrow, I will get up and sweat again.  I will watch what I eat and pray that those tight pants loosen up a little, and my over-inflated "girls" shrink back down to a manageable size.  I will scour Pinterest for healthy, clean eating recipes, and I will try to cram more veggies into my diet.  I will continue to tell sugar to "bite me", and I WILL prevail once again ... this time for good.  MAKE IT HAPPEN!

Getting back on track

I sit here this morning with not a lot of time; I got up at 4 something so I could do my 2nd class at 5:15 this morning.  Different than what I expected, but GOOD.  And HARD.  We alternated between a treadmill, a rower, and free weights.  I feel very accomplished.  I'm encouraged by re-reading the beginning of my blog and remembering what it felt like when those pounds started falling off.   I've fought through some HARD McD's cravings, and they've gone away.  I have that satisfied tired/sore feeling going on right now; Tomorrow I want to get up same time as today and tackle a 6-miler.  It's been a WHILE since I've done that, so I'm thinking it's time to attack the day!

Got to get ready for work; posting a pic of today's DELICIOUS lunch (and yes, I totally count pickles as veggies)!  Until Sunday ... stay motivated and WORK!

There's just something about July ...

I've had to go back and re-read the beginning of my blog.  I'm very sad to say that I've put back on pretty much every pound I managed to lose.  I have an appointment tomorrow that requires me to wear my "nice" slacks and a button up shirt; the pants were too tight, and the shirt was so tight that even with strapping "the girls" down with 2 bras, there's still a gap there.  Not gonna lie, fallen back into the "don't care" eating attitude.  Sugar once again is my demon and has made me throw away everything I did 3 years ago :(

The good news is TODAY is the first day of the rest of my life.  It's summer; July.  A little later than I started back in 2012, but my pants not fitting has REALLY kicked my a$$.  I am stronger than my addiction ... and my "drug" is sugar.  I have a sweet tooth that just does not quit; through prayer and dedication I will get back on track and recover my inner goddess.  The first step is to get back to my blog; blogging every 3 days if not daily so I can be ACCOUNTABLE again.  It honestly doesn't matter a whit to me if anyone ever reads this; it's about me getting my thought off my chest and getting my mind right so I can feel sexy and confident again.

My cross fit journey ended abruptly when I made the bad decision to go to class when I was feeling mildly sick-ish.  I was full blown SICK the next few days, and I couldn't make myself go again.  To be honest, I'm not sure it's for me.  Tomorrow at 0600 I have an appointment to attend 1 of 2 trial classes at a gym called Orange Theory Fitness.  It's an hour class and I'm not sure what to expect, but I'm looking forward to a good sweat.  Here's to smooshing the "lazy bug", and telling sugar to BITE ME!

A big win!

Sure do love my beautiful and rugged West Coast!

Today was day 2 of CrossFit.  Holy Moly.  I am so sore I can barely function!  I worked DANG hard, managed to do 3 sets of 200m front carry weights.  I carried 50 lbs in a shoulder hold?  I don't know any of the technical CrossFit language yet.  It's like a secret code I haven't learned yet.  I will, though!

My real win came tonight.  The hubs suggested dinner at Golden Corral.  I don't know if you've ever eaten at the Golden Corral.  It's so much greasy, fried "junk" food, but it tends to be quite yummy to my middle-class palette.  A "normal" meal for me there would be a huge salad piled with bacon bits, ham, cheese, croutons, raisins, sunflower seeds, and a big 'ol ladle full of ranch dressing.  That would be followed by fried chicken, fried fish, mashed potatoes, a baked potato slathered in butter/sourcream/cheese sauce, mac and cheese, buttered corn, and 1 to 2 big and hot buttered rolls.  That would be "chased" by an ice cream sundae/brownie/slice of cake/cookie. And washed down with 2+ glasses of sweet tea.   I 100% never cleaned my plate of all that food, but I sure always feel STUFFED when I leave.

Tonight, my meal consisted of a slice of their baked fish (yummy!), 1 tiny chunk of the "southern fried" fish (like literally about a 2" square piece), a baked potato with a dollop of sour cream and cheese sauce (no butter), baked zucchini, baked squash, a spoon full of green beans, and a small salad with barely a pinch of bacon bits/cheese/eggs/pine nuts drizzled with the "light" ranch (25 cals).   Dessert was a tiny slice of apple pie, sans any sort of ice cream.  Drank water.  Now I'm home and chilling, NOT to eat another single food item.  Left the restaurant full but not in any way stuffed.  That's a HUGE win for me!

I also went to Trader Joe's tonight and stocked up on pears, bananas, organic cheese and grapefruit.  I'm getting back into this whole healthy eating thing; it's just about having the RIGHT mindset, and hopefully being able to maintain it.

If we're being honest

This is NOT a post I have any desire to make.  But I have to be real; it doesn't help ANYONE that's struggling with their weight to pretend that those of us that manage to lose some doesn't gain it back.  Our online presence tends to showcase all those perfect moments in life so that everyone can be envious of you and your perfect life.  Or, let's face it; some are drama llamas and enjoy stirring up stuff and having people fawn all over them.

I got up and went to Crossfit this morning.  When I got home, I took my "before" pics.  I get a 1 month trial; I'm curious to see if there's more of a discernible difference THIS time than there was 2 years ago after the 30 day pics.  I'm embarrassed to post these pics; they look TERRIBLE ... but this is my wake up call.  The call that says I have let myself down, once again.  It's time to get back on the wagon and STAY on it and quit allowing myself to fall off again and again and again.  This blog is to make me ACCOUNTABLE, so here I am, in all my fat glory ...

Those pics have been worse, but not by much.  Maybe only an inch or so.  What's good is that I'm CATCHING myself this time.  I've transitioned to a desk job where I sit on my tushy for 9 hours.  No more cleaning stalls every day, no more riding 3-5 days a week, no more moving jumps standards and poles around 5 days a week ... just sit on my butt day in and day out.  My apartment doesn't even have stairs; we're on the lower level.  So a serious decrease in activity combined with a less than careful attitude about what goes in my mouth, and this is the result.  I'm ashamed of myself.  But I'm taking the first step, exposing myself, and getting BACK to it, hopefully this time for good.  No excuses, no permanent backsliding, just RESULTS.

I hope that anyone else out there that's struggling can find the inspiration they need to realize and understand that if you fail, you CAN right yourself.  Don't "wait until Monday", or "wait until February", or "hold off until after I've finished ____".  Do it TODAY, RIGHT NOW, face your demons and begin to chase them off.  I'm shooting to be back here in the next few months:  

February 19, 2013.  I can DO THIS!

Updating

Well, it looks like I'll be going to Crossfit for the first time tomorrow morning.  My riding trainer has been after me now for months to go, but money and "fear" have been holding me back.  She gave me a month for Christmas to go and see what happens, so now I have no excuse!  I had to go back to the beginning of my blog and read some to sort of ... re-find my inspiration, if you will.  I began this blog to be honest about my journey through life.  In all honesty ... I HAVE to get back on track.  I've fallen off, big time, and I've got to find my way back on.

The hubs and I have been really, really talking, and we're planning our future here.  As we make plans, it's important for me to get back to where I was, personally.  I'm working hard at work; things are progressing in such a way as to pave the way for possible promotions in the future, so that's good.  At some point in my life, I want to get back to horse ownership, but that needs to come after home ownership.  It will all happen; we just have to keep our mind on our goals, and our eyes to God.

My grandfather passed away recently; it really rocked my world.  I love him so much, and I appreciate EVERYTHING he's ever done for me, and I'm so grateful to him for being there during my childhood.  I wasn't able to get back to GA to see him "on his deathbed", and while a part of me is deeply saddened by that, a selfish part of me is also glad I couldn't.  Our first trip back to GA is tentatively scheduled for Spring Break, but so many things have to happen for that trip that who knows if it will happen.  We're going to try, though!

Today, I remember that it IS the first day of the rest of my life.  I need to remember to live every day as it comes, and not worry too much about the past and the future.  Concentrate on enjoying the moments and appreciating the journey :)