Epic Awesomeness

I want to talk about this whole moving thing for a moment.  I'm not going to lie.  Since around ... Halloween of last year maybe, I've been in a weird place emotionally.  I don't know why.  Hormones?  Dissatisfaction with my life?  Depression?  I don't know.  I have NEVER been unhappy in my marriage.  Unhappy with finances, yes.  It's hard to make a living as an independent contractor when you don't work 24/7 at your business.  I have no desire to live, eat, breath, and make my job my entire life.  When I come home to my family ... I want to come home to my family!  So in the last few years, business has really dropped off and it's been impossible to pay my bills on time.  I HATE that.  It's stressful, and has probably built up and built up to the point that I snapped, I guess you could say.  My weird emotional place was not helped by a huge blow out with someone that was one of my best friends, and I just started to feel sorry for myself, feeling in general unloved, unappreciated, and just burnt out.  Even with my own PARENTS ... we had a huge fight at Thanksgiving, what the HECK was going on?

The hubs and I went on our west coast trip last Spring Break, and it was the Best Time Ever.  We enjoyed it more than anything we've done!  It was so wonderful.  Around January, after all the fights with friends and family ... and the struggling to make ends meet ... we began to talk about actually moving to the West Coast. I've tried multiple times over the past few years to pick up a part time job in addition to my teaching to try and supplement our income, but it was impossible with my schedule.  And just to QUIT, to walk away from Joyce, and my teaching job I've had for 10 years with all my amazing clients ... seemed wrong.  And in a weird way, I began to feel "trapped" in my life.  On one hand, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my life.  Great hours, great kids, doing what I love.  But on the other hand, there was stress and uncertainty not only with money concerns, but with keeping my job in general!  People have NO idea the roller coaster I've ridden over the time I've done what I do, and I'm just ready to get off, really.  So, I am!  Go big or go home, that's always been my motto.  If I'm going to take the step to walk away from a life I've built for myself, a business that even though was dwindling, was filled with LOYAL and long time clients, and my first home that I've even owned ... I am going to do it in a BIG way.  My husband and I are so excited to turn this page, and to basically start over in a completely new place, on the other side of the country.  Is it crazy?  YES!  But everything is falling into place.  God works in such mysterious ways, and he put this seed in our minds to plant, and water, and now to watch it grow.  I need to be a CA resident for a year before I'm considered a resident, so I plan to enroll in UC Davis next year and go to nursing school.  I'm planning to work as a pharmacy tech starting out, that's one of the jobs I've tried to get over the years, but it's never worked out.  I do NOT plan to teach right now.  MAYBE the opportunity will arise again to get back into it; but STRICTLY on a part time basis.  An extra money type of thing, if you will.  I refuse to count on contracting out in any way to pay my bills ever again.  "Real", steady, and non 1099 jobs pay the bills better.  They may pay a little bit less initially, but the steady never changing income and the tax refund makes it all worth it!

So, there it is.  The "WHY?".  Lots of people have asked, genuinely trying to understand.  It's so hard to explain, I hope I've done an ok job of it.  At the end of the day, this is absolutely a walk of faith.  I am trusting in God to guide this path we're taking, and I believe this will further strengthen my marriage and relieve some of the stress because I believe with ALL my heart and soul our job situation is going to be amazing.  What they will end up being in the long run, I don't know, but I believe our life is going to improve beyond even OUR wildest dreams!