Silence does NOT equal failure

So, I haven't had too much to say this week.  Don't think that means I'm hiding and not doing well, though.  Quite the contrary; despite waking at 4:15 every morning and working 3 jobs, I have consumed copious amounts of water and managed to do my Couch to 5K workout 3 days this week.  My total calorie count has been averaging around 1500 calories, which is a HUGE change for me.  That's roughly 1000 calories less than what I USED to consume on a daily basis.  All this AND on my period ... TMI, I know lol!:)  I'm actually looking forward to the picture day next week because I KNOW they will show a positive change.  I wish that change were a little more dramatic than what it is, but let's face it.  I am NOT on Extreme Makeover:  Weight loss Edition.  I have not had a diet custom made for me by a registered dietician, and I don't hit the gym 5 days a week to spend hour long sessions with my personal trainer.  I'm just a regular carb addict, trying to detox from all the refined sugar I used to eat, and add in as much activity as I can in between all the work I do every day.

I'd like to go in a little different direction today.  This blog is supposed to document my spiritual journey as well as my physical one.  I grew up in the Baptist Church, but did I learn anything?  Not really.  For me, it was social time and whenever I wasn't singing in the choir I had a book hidden behind my bible and read.  In general, I like to think I'm one of those "good people".  I try to be generous with my time and my advice regarding horses, I volunteer every once in a while, and I try to be nice to people in general.  I hardly ever drink alcohol, I've never smoked anything in my life, and I have an active desire to avoid prescription painkillers at all costs!!!  Sometimes, however, I feel very hollow and "fake".  Like I do the right thing but for the wrong reasons.

My husband grew up in the Pentecostal Church, and unlike me he learned a LOT in church and has very concrete opinions as to what's "right" and what's "wrong" with the various other churches we've attended in the past.  Nothing has really clicked with either of us and for the 13 years we've been married we have never attended any church regularly.  All that changed when he met Craig, a friend of a friend.  David and Craig hit if off like an old married couple, and thus began our Sunday commitment of church.  Just recently, Craig decided to become the associate Pastor for his mentor and left the church he started that we had been attending regularly for the past year.  We followed him over, and now are members of Oasis Family Life Church.

The biggest difference between Oasis and every other church we've ever attended is that the congregation as well as the pastor is black.  Worship service is very enthusiastic and high energy, and the pastor is AMAZING.  Young, dynamic, and as far as my husband is concerned, very right on the things he says.  This past Sunday was a good message; it was about success.  Here's a few notes I took:
~You become what you're connected to
~Don't focus on your fears, focus on your hopes and dreams
~If you push long and hard enough life has a way of giving in
~A failure establishes one thing and that is this:  our determination to succeed wasn't strong enough AT THAT TIME
~God has pre-wired us to have a desire
~He has also made a way for each person to HAVE that desire; that way is through faith.
~Mis-handled success can hinder your future

Very interesting stuff.  Made a LOT of sense.  I certainly have a desire; horses.  I have gone through a LOT to be able to work and make my life all about them.  I'm still struggling to succeed and for my life to get a little bit easier; I have faith it will happen at some point.  Just helps me to know I'm on the right track, and to believe in myself and not give up; maybe it's cliche but it's the truth!

Riding one of my lesson horses at work